Crossed Paths
by Nezuneko
Summary: Rey, a scavenger girl from Jakku. Kylo Ren, the first knight of the Ren order. A pairing that may end in a disaster, just like something before the time of the First Order, the Resistance. Before the Empire. Sins and mistakes of the past cannot be mended. Or can they? (Reylo with a tiny twist, first story written in English, may be a bit OOC, no rights for me, you know the drill)
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Rey could not move a muscle. She just stared at the cloaked, black clad being, one hand literally forced behind her back.

 _Am I going to die here? On a planet far from Jakku in the middle of wherever? I cannot die. I need to see my parents again... They need me to be on Jakku..._ \- Rey thought , as she was following the dark being with her eyes.

She could have dwelled in the darkness oozing off from this creature, but there was something else so very off about this whole situation. Like... she would know whoever is behind this mask. If she could only take one look... She could see...

A figure dawned in her mind. Maybe she saw it once on Jakku?

No. Creatures like him do not go there. That planet is far too away from... well... everything, literally.

Then where? The figure in her... memories perhaps... she did not know for sure, were also clad in black, all the time. Fancy clothes, none the less. The figure was so... sweet, endearing, loving, and lost. She cold feel it, but the face, she could not recall, nor the voice.

\- You have the map – Rey could hardly get any word spoken by this mystery thing – Give it to me.

 _Different voice than before..._ \- the thought came from nowhere.

 _What before? And like hell I will gave him anything!_ \- Rey decided, but soon she heard a foreign swiss, and felt something hot near her neck. She tried to look to her left side, but all she could see was something vibrant red.

 _Damn_ – the girl thought.

 _There is light in him. I know..._ \- Rey felt like she was going to get crazy. First the jedi, than the Force, and now, random thoughts coming from hutt knows where?

Just her luck.

Kylo could feel the strange sensation just as he saw the girl for the first time.

Like he would know her. But from where?

Definitely not from the wretched jedi-trainings, and not from his childhood either. Also not from any invaded planet, as she comes from the damned Jakku. Just a scavenger-girl. A simple scavenger girl. Jet she felt so familiar. Her eyes... So full of fear... hopelessness...

 _Kill her. Kill her now, for she is unworthy!_ \- he could hear the stern voice in his head, even though he did not know, why. For what is she unworthy? Why should he kill her He didn't even know her, nor did he meet her.

 _Isn't she beautiful? Like an angel, trapped in the middle of everything that is rotten, still shining through..._

The thought just popped out of nowhere. What the hutt?

Kylo circled around the girl.

 _So fragile... Like a desert rose. Why should I harm her? She has the map. She gives it to me, and then..._ \- Kylo thought.

\- You have the map. Give it to me – he said while standing a bit closer to the girl.

She smelled like water, and salty sweat. She was running until here, maybe to distract the troopers.

Kylo reached to her mind, to see, why she offered herself as distraction, and then he found it. The girl had the information about Luke Skywalker. She saw the map.

 _Take her with you. Take her. See her to yourself, why she is so special_ \- there was it. That voice. Like the Force would actually urge him to do... what?

The thought, that he needs to leave her, or that they can be separated, made him feel physical pain. Why?

A trooper came up to him, and Ren gave the order to retreat. The girl has the information that the droid has. Even if the droid could reach to the Resistance, he would long have the map from this scavenger. She saw everything.

Ren made the girl unconscious with the Force, carefully catching her while she was falling. She was light weighted. Not just that. She was thin, like the drapes that hugged her.

 _She is smaller than before_ \- came the thought as they were walking to Ren's ship.

Kylo couldn't place that thought either, but as he was excited about the map, he let it slide. During the take off, he looked at the girl's fragile complexion and clean face, thick lashes, now closed eyes. As frightened as she was before, now she was almost serene in her sleep.

Kylo could not put his finger on the weird feeling welling up in him, but he could feel the light inside him grow a bit, and that was something, he could not allow. His grandfather would be so enraged with him right now. Bet he did not have such problems.

This thought earned him a punch in his gut.

Feeling guilty for seeing the light...

Just his luck.


	2. Chapter 2

_**1st.: Bits and pieces**_

 _Her dress was black, and there were so many laces._

 _Oh._

 _So it is a nightmare. She would only dress in a gown if she was forced to..._

 _In front of her was a young man, almost begging her with those blue eyes of his. She wanted to touch him so bad, instead she was just asking one simple question. It is for the best. For him. For her. For everyone. Even if she dies a little inside. It only needs one question, but the young man kept tempting her._

 _\- It doesn't have to be that way. We could keep it a secret._

 _She needed to remind herself to focus. Even if she likes the man way to much more than it was allowed to her. If she shuts down the forming bond, it will be alright. He will be on journeys, so he won't have time for her anyway. Now, she has to have a straight face and lie, as best as she could._

 _\- We'd be living a lie. One we couldn't keep, even if we wanted to. I couldn't do that. Could you? Could you live like that?_

 _The man seemed to be in equal pain but after one last look, he shook his head._

 _\- No, you are right. We would be crushed under that secret._

Rey awoke to the feeling, that someone was watching her. She recognized a few things. First and foremost, she was on a foreign ship, with the very one man (or sith knows what), who captured her. The thing was just sitting, and watching her, but sill, the creeps went up on her spine.

\- Good. You are conscious now – stood the black clad creature – Tell me what you know about the BB-unit.

Rey looked at the human-like enemy again. She was met with the familiar darkness, but something was pulling her towards this thing. Is it a robot or a man? Is it even a human being?

 _Lie to him!_ \- came the thought.

\- The unit is an astro droid, from the BB series. Formerly belonged to the Resistance. It has a carbon-fiber shell and...

The creature stormed close to her, and steadied itself on the interrogation chair, just inches from Rey's face.

\- Do not play any games with me – it hissed – Show me the map, what you saw. I know for a fact, that you saw it.

\- Why would I show anything to you? - Rey spat back. She wanted to look brave, but it is really hard when you are strapped to a metal chair, and the only thing you can do is to look very-very angry – I cannot even see your face. Are you human? Are you a robot? What are you?

Her interrogator straightened itself and reached behind his head. A soft swiss could be heard, the mask loosened on the creatures face and it revealed itself to Rey. She barely kept her gasp. Coal black irises looked back at her from a face that could be of an angel. So lost, so afraid, so... Beautiful...

 _Not blue? Why not blue, they were blue!_ \- she thought first, only to ponder, why she was expecting eyes to appear in the first place.

For a moment she just stared at him, drinking in the sight, feeling the weight of his gaze on her face, and again, Rey could feel the darkness pooling from him. A part of her whole being wanted to touch the strange young man, as if that could solve the problems, but a much larger part of her being was deadly afraid.

\- You will tell me, what I want to know, willing or not - stated the man, and he extended his right hand, almost touching her forehead. Rey only felt a sharp pain in her head, and her vision was immediately clouded.

 _The earth was hot, and glowed red. The stink of Sulphur hung in the air, and she was standing before the black haired young man. How can that be? They were on the sip just moments ago._

 _\- You're with him! He took you away from me! - he shouted._

 _\- Dearest... - she begged - Love, why do you say that? Please, come to your senses! I love you, only you! You know that! We wanted to get away from all this! Or the Dark has already invaded you so much, that you don't even recognize me? Please, I love you..._

 _\- LIES!_

 _She could feel her feet leaving the ground as he lifted her. She tried to gasp for air, but it did not get t her lungs. Rey's vision blurred partly because of her tears and partly because of the lack of oxygen._

\- NO! - Rey screamed on top of her lungs.

Ren stumbled backwards, as a surge of power sent him to the wall. What was that? Memories mixed in his mind. He could see the girl's past, as she was left alone on a desert planet, and he could see a planet, on which lava was flowing like a river, but he could not remember ever being on one.

He looked in the girl's eyes, and for a flash, he saw her in a light yellow-purple dress, standing on a balcony on a foreign planet, brown hair flowing around her.

 _My angel..._

Ren struggled to keep his head in the game. He tried to read her mind again, but he could not enter into it. He met a granite wall, which ran around her subconscious. She closed him out.

\- Who are you!? – Ren asked eyeing the girl - FN-2187 called you Rey. Is that your name?!

\- Why should I tell you that? – spat the girl, tugging at her restrains angrily.

Kylo steadied himself on the interrogation chair, and looked deep into Rey's eyes. Her breathing became erratic, as she wanted to have some distance between them.

 _Sshh, Angel, please don't be afraid of me...I won't make the same mistake again, I promise. Believe me... Back off, you scare her! Don't you see?!_ – Kylo almost slapped himself out of frustration.

It was no news to him, that the Light and the Dark always battled inside of him. He was already used to the constant whispers, images flowing around in his head, but this time it was different. She could taste the girl's fear and anger, but he also tasted the strange completeness, she gave off since they've met.

Like old acquaintances, better yet...

He did not dare to express _that_.

He searched for any sigh from Rey's side. Just a spark, a realization, that she may have recognized anything. She was - after all - also Force sensitive. How else could she resist the further mind reading?

He took off one of his gloves to feel her skin under his palm. Rey tried to flinch away, but as she was still tied up, she had no chance for it. Ren touched her cheek, and where he did so, he could feel the Force jumping off of them, like sparkles.

 _I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth..._

Kylo looked at Rey again. These words are not his. The thoughts, the pictures, everything.

And even so... even as he still gets the fact, that something went really south in the moment, they saw each other, he could not deny the fact, that the scavenger girl was indeed pretty. Beautiful even, after a little refreshment. He needed space from her. Distance.

He needed to clear his mind to focus on the task at hand.

He could not get the map from her, as his path was blocked to Rey's mind, and the Supreme Leader wants Luke Skywalker. He needs to forge Plan B.

On top of all that, the more he was in ne room with Rey, the more he talked to her, the more he felt the pull to the Light.

He needed a solution. He needed his grandfather.


	3. Chapter 3

2nd: Across the grave and life

Kylo could not be more torn in that moment.

The Dark, which was whispering to him ever since he switched sides, did not answer to any of his questions. The silence made him more desperate to seek the companion of his grandfather's thought, but he met only emptiness.

Kylo looked at the burned helmet from Darth Vader, and took off his own.

He tried to picture Vader, how he could look like when he was powerful and a feared being in the galaxy. Tall man, dark in all the ways possible, a strong sith, who had known the Force so well, as if it was written on a piece of paper, and all he needed to do was to read it aloud.

\- How could you be so adamant? – Ren asked the helmet aloud – Not once did you waver in your thoughts. You were sure about the Dark, were you? You always knew what to do, am I right? Please grandfather, I need guidance. The Light pulls me so strong...

 _Find your Angel..._

There was it again. The voice, which he also heard when he was with Rey.

What angel? What is an angel anyway? Who could it be? Rey?

He closed his eyes to call for that picture with the lava planet. There, he was so angry with her. Not like he feels when one of his soldiers kriffs up pretty badly during missions. What he felt was utter bitterness. His heart broke, he could have thrown up from the pain. Rey was standing in front of him, declaring her love, so full of sadness too.

What happened? Why with them?

 _Maybe it was destined to be wrong... With me as her chosen one... It was bound to be a disaster for her._

Kylo snapped his head to the mask. What was that? He took Vader's helmet in his hands and took a closer look. There was nothing visible to the bare eye, but Kylo sensed something very off about it. As he touched it, there was a flash of memories. Something fast... It may have been a race? Could be...

 _\- Are you a jedi? – little Kylo asked from a man. The man smiled gently at him._

 _\- Why do you think that? – the elder one looked at him with wise, blue eyes_

 _\- You have a lightsaber – Kylo answered – Only jedi have lightsabers._

 _\- What if I've killed one for it?_

 _\- That is impossible. They cannot be killed._

 _The man laughed out loud in a deep voice, amused by the kid's straightforwardness._

Kylo just stood there, on his ship, without a word in the silence. Was this a vision from the past? He looked down on the helmet again. Was this... a memory? His grandfather... Impossible. Why now? Why these? Why was Rey there?

He did not deny, that he always felt a bond to his grandfather, he thought that it was formed because the Darkness was in both of them. But darkness does not explain the visions about Rey and him. The love declaration, the pictures. It does not fit to the sith, no matter, if it is Rey, or his parents, or anyone else. It pushes to the Light...

Yet, he could not get Rey out of his mind.

This was kriff shit crazy. He did not even know her. Foce, he did not even know, that she existed in this Galaxy up until he met him a few hours ago.

 _Funny, isn't it? You just simply see someone, and after that you've only spent a few minutes with her, you cannot get her out of your mind..._

Kylo shook his head. He needed to focus, to give a valid explanation to the Supreme Leader: why he was chasing after a stranger rather than the map itself. The explanation about how Rey was the most interesting woman he'd ever met, or that she was pretty, or that she caused him so much amusement with her bravery... nope, that will stay in his mind, locked away as deep as possible.

Rey tugged again at her restrains, but she was not so sure if she wants to escape without talking to the young man first. Rey could get his name. Kylo Ren. The almost main bad guy.

 _This is just... wrong. Bad guys are bad faced, stinky and also not that lost. More composed, less enchanting and with less tension in them_ – Rey thought.

When Ren touched her face, her heartbeat was ten times faster. First all she felt was fear, but the warmth radiating from his palm, she felt her world slow down, and all that was left was him.

She felt a familiar tug in her mind, and that shook her out of the Ren-trance. She looked into the eyes of Kylo, and again, she expected them to be ocean-blue. The man just stared at her for a moment, than left the room, almost as he was fleeing from her.

Rey wanted to escape so badly. To get away from this nonsense, and to hide in a far corner of the galaxy... She was trying to Force-break her restrains, but a voice in the deepest of her mind stopped her.

 _Don't leave him._

 _I am not leaving him, I make a run for my life, besides, he will be fine, playing with his toy soldiers..._

 _If you do this now, everything will go wrong again. He will be fully engulfed in the darkness, just like before._

Rey furrowed her brows. Before? What does this supposed to mean? And why should she listen to random voices? Either she is going crazy (possible), or she is already crazy (absolutely).

 _Listen to me. Wait for him. He'll come to you again..._

Rey took a deep breath, and tried to trace the strange feelings she had. Maz Kanata told, that the Force is around every being and everywhere. Could it be, that this is the Force, and the sound is only her instincts?

Yeeeeaaah, riiight, her instinct is in love with Kylo Ren, that has such a high chance...

Could the Force... well... force two opposite beings together? According to Han Solo, It has everything in it. Light, Dark, Good, Bad... It may also contain the future and the past, can it not? And all the knowledge of the past, which could explain why the two of them feel this... Whatever this is... The only thing now, that needed explanation was that love-thing.

 _How could I feel this towards him? If I am not in love with him, than who were? Who's memories do I have? Who's memories does he have?_ – Rey thought.

Of course she felt attracted to the sith, but she could not decide whether it was her own attraction or the residual feelings from the memories they accidentally shared with each other. Either way, if Kylo knows more than her, she will question him about it somehow. Somewhere. In a universe where he does not want to kill her, she does not need to defend herself... Yes, like that is going to happen ever...

 _Focus girl, you wanted to escape..._

Rey tried to use her Force-signature to get more information about her surroundings. She could feel a trooper at the door, but other that that, the interrogation room's corridor seemed to be empty.

 _Okay... Showtime_ \- Rey thought.

\- You will release me from this chair and leave me alone, with the cell door open – she said with little less confidence that it sounded in her head.

\- What were you saying you scavenger scum? - the trooper asked, walking up to her.

 _Damn. Come on, girl, you've got this. It will be alright, just get your stuff together!_ \- she thought.

\- You will release me from this chair and leave me alone, with my cell door open – Rey repeated in a much calmer tone.

\- Oh, hell not!

She tried it again in a calm and commanding manner, looking directly at the guard, with a stern look.

\- You will release me from this chair and leave me alone, with my cell door open

This time the whole demeanor of the guard changed. The tension in his body was gone, his hands fell to his sides, and Rey could simply feel the nothing radiating off of him.

\- I will release you form this chair, leave you alone and leave the cell door open.

The trooper did as he was told, and left the room.

\- Oh, and drop your gun! - the girl added.

\- And I'm dropping my gun – the soldier added emotionlessly as he was exiting, leaving her to do whatever she wanted to.

 _Did I just do that? Hell yeah!_ \- Rey thought with a small grin, got out of the damned chair, sneaked out of the interrogation room, and tried to make a run for it.

She could get away from the prison quarter, and as she was wandering around the next block, trying to find the dock for the ships, she could hear a trooper-group heading in her way with heavy footsteps.

She panicked, and hid in the first room she could enter. Bad decision.

Rey closed the door and hid in the dark, hoping that none could hear the door shut behind her, but as she turned around, to check where she actually was, she met a black clad figure with coal eyes and dark hair.

\- Going somewhere? - Kylo Ren asked her in a hushed, and dangerously calm tone.

 _Damn_ \- Rey thought as she was looking into his eyes from inches, lost in their desperate depth – _Why me..._


	4. Chapter 4

3rd: Change of winds

\- Going somewhere?

 _Really dude? That is all you can muster?_ \- Kylo thought, but seeing that Rey almost jumped out of her skin, this opening was registered as a complete success.

\- I... I... - she began, but he stopped her.

\- You – Ren inched closer to her – Wanted to escape. This was not a good idea now, was it?

He could have swam in the fear radiating off of her.

Rey had no weapon, and Ren could see how she calculated her chances.

\- I will not go back into that cell. Do whatever you want – she sneered – I will fight as long as I can.

\- I do not doubt that – leaned Kylo close to Rey's ear – and you should not doubt, that I do not give a damn about you.

 _You lying bastard_ – Kylo could hear the mocking voice again, but he dismissed it, even though he know that the voice was right.

\- For the last time I checked, you were the prisoner, and I was the guard. Understood?

 _Force, she smells so good..._ \- Kylo thought. This time, it was his own voice sounding in his head. The foreign one remained quiet, as if it was checking the progress of the situation.

Rey looked at him, in her eyes he could see a mix of fear, hatred and fire. Like she was challenging him not only just talk, but to prove his stern threats.

\- Show me the map – he demanded silently, feeling her tense in the shadow of him, as Ren leaned on her, trapping the girl between the wall and his body.

\- Go to hell – Rey whispered back to him.

Next thing Kylo realized that he was crushing his mouth on hers, but in this he felt no intimacy at all. Rey was battling him, using the kiss like a weapon of choice, which fueled his anger and desperate need for something. He pushed her to the wall of his chamber.

 _\- I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth – he said, one hand gently caressing her bare shoulder._

 _He didn't want to scare her, but he could not deny how attracted he felt towards the young woman. Her purple-yellow dress was light, and it suited her nature, being the light in this crazy world. The breeze of Naboo caught a few stray strands of her hair, and he could not vision a more beautiful sight._

 _He leaned in closer and waited for her. She closed her eyes, which he used for kissing her ever so gently. The kiss lasted only for a few seconds, but he felt like he is going to enter heaven._

 _But as fast it has come, so fast the moment was gone. She broke the kiss, looking forward to the ocean, trying very hard not to look at him._

 _\- This was a mistake – she said with shaky voice – Please do not do this again._

 _He just stood there as he had ran into a wall with full force._

 _\- Okay – he nodded slowly - I'm... I'm sorry..._

Kylo broke the kiss as the new flashback ended. Rey looked at him wide eyed, air streaming in and out her lungs as if she had run a marathon just now. Kylo had the implication, that she also saw the scene from first person view, just like he did.

\- Let me go – Rey whispered.

\- No.

She did not squirm, nor did she try to free herself.

\- Who are you? - Kylo asked searching any known line in the girl's features, but finding nothing – Why can't I hurt you or properly question you? What did you do to me?

Rey tried to avert her gaze from his. It was too intense, and aside from the fact, that she could not answer his question, the young woman was trying to ignore the emotions, which were stirred by the brief interaction.

\- Let me go – she tried it again – The others may come for me... Also, you do not have anything in your hands, when you cannot enter my mind, am I right?

Kylo shook his head.

\- They will not get to you in time. They will not get anywhere near this place...

Rey furrowed her brows, throwing a questioning look at him. Ren released his grip on her, risking that after she gets to know what he says, the girl will attack him.

\- What do you mean? - Rey asked.

As Kylo positioned himself in front of the door, she could only escape if he tackles the man. Which would be a very reckless decision, but tempting, none the less.

\- One of our spies have discovered the base of the Resistance. The Starkiller Base will be charged, and fired, to destroy it. It cannot be avoided, nor can you stop this. If you want to survive, join me. You can use and sense the Force just as I can. I could teach you... do you have any idea how powerful we could be?

Rey felt the need to slap this son of a kriff so badly... What did he think?!

\- I will not use Darkness – she sneered – and as far as I have sensed it, you have your own doubts about it also.

Kylo's face changed into determination and contradiction, but Rey suspected, that it was addressed to himself more than to her.

\- I do not doubt anything.

Rey just grimaced, contemplating her chance for escape again.

 _You cannot get away..._

Ren's voice was so silky in her head, that first she did not even realize, that he in her head was a wrong thing, but it was too late. The man was already searching her thoughts, and he found what he needed.

She did not feel pain, like when he shifted through her head in the interrogation room, but as if she was leading the way to a welcomed being. Then she understood. Kylo used the powers from the Light side, but even so, it was late. He saw the map.

\- Which solar system is this? - he asked.

\- I don't know – Rey stood tall against him, defiance radiating off of her.

\- You are lying.

\- You look nice.

\- What?!

\- Sorry, I simply thought we yell kriffshit to each other...

Judging by Kylo's face, Rey thought that the last part went a bit too far, but if he loses his control, she will be able to run out, and save what she can save. Starting with BB8 and Finn.

\- Who's that? - she heard Kylo ask.

 _Damn._

Ren did not like the fact, that FN-2187 has an important meaning in her mind, and as the thought formed in his head, a voice demanded FN-2187's immediate destruction. Feared part was, that Rey inched to liking the idea.

He slipped back into Rey's mind, finding that she still wanted to escape, and searched for her friends. No need. If his calculations were correct, as soon as they charge Starkiller Base, the Resistance will show up to stop them. Under the leadership of his mother.

 _You cannot make her stay. With or without threats. I could not make my Angel stay anywhere, even f it meant that her life will be on the line. I went with her to her home planet. I went with her to the most dangerous space-havens. In the end, she followed me, and she died. Do not let her go alone anywhere. Please. Go with her._

There was it again. The voice.

Even IF she would not kill him (or at least try to do so), what reason he could muster, to make Rey have him on board of a ship with her?

\- Why do you care? - Rey demanded – What the hell are you doing in my head again?!

She seems to be well armed against the Dark side, but she cannot do anything about jedi techniques...

\- I just...

 _If I am clever now, I can make her to do me anything_ \- Kylo thought. He could swat two flies with one hand. Sway Rey to be with him, and get that strange whatever that thing is out of his system.

He got closer to the girl, who froze on spot, until Ren stopped before her, leaning his head on her shoulder. He could feel every inch of her moving around in the Force. He could smell her intoxicating scent, made out of fresh water and sunshine in the cold, making his resolve to trick her, nearly impossible.

The Supreme Leader gave him the order to kill Luke Skywalker. This could crush her only hope to get trained, and Rey will probably hate him. But he is a monster, that is just how things are, even if Rey was the only being in this moment, who could pull him to Force knows what direction.

Ever since he could use the Force in any way, he felt some sort of standstill. Like he is not complete in any way. First, he thought that he needs power. That was the reason he turned away from his uncle, joining Snoke. He thought, that the dark side will give him the needed power, or he will feel a sense of completeness, but the spot remained empty. No matter how powerful he became using the Dark, no matter how many people he killed.

He saw their faces at night. Pleading for him to have mercy on them. Promising, that they will do whatever Kylo just wanted. Some nights there was just dead silence, but no comfort, as he hoped. He felt utter betrayal. He felt cheated by the Light, as he was nowhere near Luke's powers, and he felt cheated by the Dark side, for not giving him fulfillment. Now he could not choose the Light nor the Dark, and for some reason, he felt, that if he kills Luke, his last chance will get away with Rey's presence to move anywhere from the swamp of despair and hatred.

\- I feel like I am being torn apart – he told her, head still on the girl's shoulder, speaking in a soft, broken voice – I feel the Light pulling me, when I am speaking to you, touching you, or think about my mother. But I am very well aware, that I have such amount of darkness, that is irreversible – he looked at the woman's face pleading – Snoke, the Supreme Leader senses it also. I cannot go back to him like this, or I will be labelled a traitor to the First Order. He ordered me to kill you, but I did not have the strength and will to do it.

Rey studied his features with mixed feelings.

\- How can I know, that you are speaking the truth? That you are willing to switch sides?

Kylo looked at her puzzled.

\- I am not. All I say is, that I don't want you any near, when the Resistance and the Firs Order clash with each other.

The girl looked at him. Her questioning gaze was so heavy, that Ren almost broke under it, giving away the order, he got from Snoke.

It did not matter to him, what happens with the Starkiller. For him, this whole machine was a disgrace, much like General Hux. Until this point, he was only interested in killing all remained Force sensitives in the galaxy, or developing his abilities further, to get at least near to Darth Vader, or Luke. Looking at Rey's clean signature and contemplating features, made Ren despise himself more, waking a deep carving in him to get accepted by Rey in any way.

This was not only his thought. The presence in his head had the same urge towards connection they have between each other.

Rey sensed some kind of finality, when she opened her mouth.

\- Give me your lightsaber – she said with a stern voice

\- Excuse me?

\- Give it to me, and we will do something to get out of here.

Kylo squinted his eyes.

\- Please explain.

Rey sighed.

\- Hutt knows why, but okay. Where I go, you go too. If you try anything funny, or force me to do anything, I will do my best to defeat you, and to take your life.

As Kylo took out his saber, and looked at it, he felt some sort of déjà vu.

Looking into Rey's eyes, while he gave the weapon to her, Ren knew, it would only take a push of a button, getting the saber pierce though the girl's heart, ending her life on the spot, but somehow he felt, that right after taking Rey's life, the only thing he has left to take his own too...

 ** _Author's note:_**

 ** _Hey you guys! Sorry for not posting anything for so long, but work has taken a toll on me this week. Also this chapter has been a b_tch to write, as I've tried to create a slow shifting in Kylo, but no matter, how much I've rewritten the whole thing (I've lost count after four times), I could not make it any more slower. The progress is some kind of faster, considering, that he is influenced by his own unstable belief in the Dark side, and own insecurities, and the fact, that he is not alone in his head. The same applies to Rey. Normally you would not let a serial killer slash sith slash WhateverNegativeYouCanList with you to be in the same room let alone ship in the middle of space, but she is also influenced, and somewhat naïve._**

 _ **Also thank you for the favs, reviews, followings, this is a huge deal for me, considering this is my first try. Thanks a lot, you guys are awesome :)**_

 _ **Byez until next time!**_


	5. Chapter 5

4th: Of battles and ships

 _I must be totally insane. Yepp. That is the sheer fact. Why else would I be trying to escape TOGETHER with Kylo Ren from a Base, which was operated by HIS OWN soldiers? Yes, I am screwed up. Maybe Jakku messed more with my head, than I care to notice..._ – Rey thought, while they were walking on the floors of the building.

She felt the cold handle of Ren's lightsaber attached to her belt, hidden by the young man's cloak. They looked like he was about to escort her somewhere within the base.

Plan was to sneak to the hangar and steal a normal shuttle. Ren's personal ship was too flashy to make a quick escape, and Rey was reluctant to steal a TIE-fighter after what she heard from Finn about his experience with the small ship.

\- Could you please calm your thoughts? – she heard Kylo speak in a hushed tone – I cannot hear my own from them.

\- All your problems would be solved in a flash if you would get out of my head – she said, not looking back at him.

\- I do not need to look at them to know, what goes around in that scavenger mind of yours.

Rey felt, that this was the part where she should have slapped that mocking tone out of his mouth, but given that Kylo was her escape ticket, she tried to let that feeling go.

\- Already behaving like a true jedi there – Ren murmured to her – You keep astonishing me again and again. Turn right.

Rey did as she was told, only to meet a very intrigued, red haired, high ranked soldier. She stopped in her tracks suddenly, and Ren almost tackled her from behind.

\- What the hutt is wrong with you... - he started, but as he recognized the obstacle, Kylo completely forgot what he wanted to tell her – Hux?

The General just stared at Rey, like a piece of meat, meant to be eaten. Ren instantly needed to battle the instinct to crush the man's skull with his knee.

\- What does the prisoner do out in the open? - Hux barked, not looking at Kylo at all, but fixating his gaze on Rey – Taking her out on a walk, like the scavenger dog she is?

\- Respect her – Ren told him sternly – Even if she is your enemy, she deserves to be respected.

\- Riiight – Hux said, a mocking smile creeping up to his mouth.

He leaned closer to Rey, drinking in her scent, grimacing in the end.

\- Too bad, that she did not live within the borders of our territories before. She would make an excellent pet.

Ren almost threw up in his mouth. He could tolerate Hux for a small time, but the amount of inhumanity residing in the man was hard to endure.

Keeping slaves was a common thing among high ranked officers. They preferred to call them „the ones, who keep them company", but Kylo heard the stories, told by his troopers about rape, beating and whatnot. He asked Snoke about it, but he pretended, that he didn't know a thing.

\- You could lend me her from time to time – the General continued, taking Rey's chin in his gloved hand, turning her head a bit to the right and then to the left – Of course, you can give her to me right now, your kind does not engage into bodily relationship with any woman. Or, in your case, man.

Rey managed to turn her head out of Hux's grasp, and spat on the floor before him.

\- I would rather be killed than to touch you – she sneered.

The General raised his hand in a flash.

\- That can be arranged – he answered with venom in his voice.

Rey – given, that her hands were tied behind her back for cover-reasons, just shut her eyes awaiting for impact, that never came. She opened her eyes to see, that Ren is looking directly on o Hux's eyes, the General's hand was stopped mid-air. The redhead was obviously struggling against something, as his head began to be just as crimson as his hair. Ren was just standing effortlessly behind her, holding his arm, as he could block the impact with so small amount of concentration as possible.

\- I have asked you to respect her – Kylo said – Please listen to me next time. Excuse us.

He Force-slammed Hux to the base-wall, being very careful not to harm him badly, and not to raise suspicions. It was no news to anyone, that they hated each other, so this will be marked as a not-so-friendly gut-punch, instead of action because of furious rage.

Something inside of him wanted to rip Hux apart, and make the man apologize, but he knew better than to act on this feeling. He simply guided Rey to the hangar, carefully watching, not to get recognized.

\- Now what? – Rey asked.

\- I am thinking.

\- We could pretend, that I want to escape, and I am taking you as hostage...

Kylo looked at her, as if she had slapped him.

\- You are kidding, right? – the young man asked.

\- Why would I? We had one law on Jakku. One always wins. It's you or them. After these you are sure, that I could not knock you out?

Ren almost laughed out loud.

 _Feisty. I want to know, if this is a common weakness for us... Falling for women like the ones in our bloodline..._

Kylo decided not to think about this sentence again, and where it could come from.

 _Focus. How to get to a ship..._ – he thought, looking at possible semi-hidden entrance ways, but all of them were blocked by troopers.

Before further steps however, an alarm sound went on, and a mechanical voice announced, that the X-wings of the Resistance have appeared from hyperspeed.

Rey's eyes snapped to Kylo.

 _Don't run. Stay with him, or he will be lost again. Please! Trust me, do not leave him alone._

The young woman sighed.

 _Fine..._ – she thought.

\- We could use the moment to escape – she whispered to Ren.

The sith looked at her, like she would have said, that he won this day's lottery, and nodded.

They ran to the docks in the shadows, and as the TIE-s took off, they tried to get to the transporters, but all of them has already left. This leaves the TIE-s. Change of plans.

Kylo fastened himself, but he froze mid-motion, and looked at Rey.

\- What is it? – she asked.

\- My father is on this planet.

\- Who?

Ren shook his head quickly, than pushed the door-lock button, starting the engines.

\- Can you pilot a TIE-hunter? – he asked.

\- There is a first time for everything – Rey answered with more certainty, than she felt, and took off.

The ship was unnoticed, as they mingled with the other hunters, but as they've reached the frontlines, another problem occurred.

\- You do know, that they will shoot at us? – the young woman felt something, that she could only label as fear.

\- Why do you think I've asked if you can pilot a TIE?

\- Just. Great

Rey flew the ship through the laser blasts and the X-wings of the Resistance. The Wings opened fire on them, and it took all of Rey's experience to dodge the friendly fire.

 _Short note to self, next time try to get AWAY from the fight, not IN THE MIDDLE of it..._ \- Rey though.

\- Incoming from the left – she could hear Ren's voice.

The girl steered strong to the right, avoiding the blast, but the movement sent them way to strong on another course.

 _Easy, baby_ \- Rey thought, while bringing the ship into a sable position.

\- Do you have any tracking systems on these damned things? - she asked – Because if you do, I suggest to turn it off, or our escape will be very short-lived.

Kylo muttered something about the Force and women and their tongues, but Rey decided to close her ears. If they will be out there, hiding, just the two of them, then she will need an extra helping of patience, and a plan, which needs to be now forged.

As she could hear the sound of the deactivation, she guided the ship to the nearest asteroid-field, just next to the planet.

\- Can you shield us from attention? - the woman asked, contemplating their possibilities.

\- I can make others say what I want to hear from their mouth, but to control the attention from a whole battlefield?! Are you crazy?! - Ren answered with a question.

\- Just sweep it elsewhere, I don't know, wherever, but we need to hide. A sudden disappearance would attract attention. We could pretend, that the control was lost, and we died because of the asteroids.

\- We gonna die because of you, but whatever...

Rey tried to let her frustration go again, balled it up and tossed it away from herself, like she did, when she was alone in the nights of Jakku.

\- One little jedi, sitting on the tree – she could ear Kylo hum.

 _Please let me hit him. Just once..._ \- she gritted her teeth, and maneuvered the ship, landing on one of the largest space rocks, deactivating any unneeded system.

\- What now? - Kylo asked.

\- We wait.

\- For what, may I ask?

Rey sighed.

\- Anything...

She looked back at the Starkiller Base, and the lights of laser blasters coming from the battling ships. She silently prayed to whoever, for Finn's survival.

In the midst of all frustration and building fear, Rey almost grinned, when she could hear Kylo growl out of frustration. She knew, that pissing off a sith is not the correct way to pass time, but she could not picture a better sight than his angry, coal eyes. Rey needed to shield her mind to avoid awkwardness.


	6. Chapter 6

5th: Escape the inevitable

\- Where you want to head now? – Ren asked.

Rey could not give a certain answer.

\- I need to get in touch with Finn – she answered – But since you took me away, I don't know, how to communicate with him. Thanks a lot, by the way...

Kylo just snorted.

\- You forget, that I know exactly, where the Resistance has its base – he told her.

\- WHAT?!

\- Don't be so surprised, Hux can brag a lot, when he thinks he is in a winning position.

Rey contemplated the chances. This whatever-side-he-is-right-now man could be her only chance at seeing Han and Finn again. Can she trust him? For how long is Kylo Ren so tamed and calm in her presence? What can happen, if she brings him to the Resistance's base? Who can guarantee to her, that he will not start to murder everybody there?

\- I don't trust your kind.

\- Wise decision, but unneeded – he told her – Somehow my hands are binded, when I want to harm you or anything dear to you. Just like yours is binded when you want to harm me. Nerving little error in the Force, but handy in these cases.

Rey wanted to wipe the arrogance from his voice.

\- Why are we like this? – she asked part him, part no one.

Ren wanted to make a snide remark about the fact, that if he knew, he would have already destroyed the reason for the situation, but he bit his tongue.

 _Would I WANT to change the situation? Do I even have anything to say in this?_

The Force bounced between them, singing with energy and fire. Together they could accomplish a whole new level of power, and Kylo hungered for it. However, he had the feeling, that Rey would not switch sides, and after some time in the First Order, he silently admitted to himself, that changing allies was not a wise decision from him either.

Snoke promised power and a leading position, but he felt more like a lapdog sometimes. He wondered, if his grandfather had the same feelings...

\- Oh my...

Rey's strangled voice tore him out of musing.

\- What is...

Turning around he found the reason. The Starkiller Base was collapsing. He could not miss the waves of joy washing off of the woman, but his own awe had a stronger hold on him. Ren just marveled about the whole process. Suddenly he heard, as Rey gave a go to the engines.

\- I don't know about you, but I wanna get out of here before that reaches us – she told him.

Ren couldn't agree more. He could hear the engines roar, and Rey steered the ship as fast as possible to get away from the coming blasts. The Starkiller Base has collapsed so rapidly, as if the planet would get sucked to its center. The laser used all of the core's heat and energy, and it became a hollow metal suit, which got blasted from energy overload.

While Ren could feel the terrible cries for help and raw pain of troopers left on the dying planet, he could not stop wonder, how the Resistance could be so efficient in destroying such a monumental object. Then again, he remembered, how his father used to tell him stories abut a similar event, and he could feel as the small amount of Light, which was building up in him after he kissed Rey dimnished in a second.

The aftershock and asteroids have reached the small TIE, and Rey struggled to keep control.

\- Do you know, how to use the blaster-cannons? - she asked.

Ren looked at the console , and started the blaster system. He could take out a few of them, but the stones were too big, and there were too many of them.

\- We cannot play this for too long, you know – he told her – Do we have a clear path to get away?

\- Uhm...

\- What do you mean "uhm"?!

Rey tried to see a getaway, but navigating and not getting themselves killed at the same time seemed to be a little bit difficult. She could hear the blasters, as Ren was continuously destroying the possible bigger threats, but they only got a little bit time.

\- Okay, the path seems to be clear – she said, again with more certainty than she felt - I am going to start the hyper-engines. Hold on.

Ren only snorted, but did not say anything else, bracing himself. He could hear the hyperspeed-generators roar, but after a short charging session, the generator stopped.

\- What was that? - he asked.

\- Uhm...

\- You should really start using other words...

 _I AM going to slap the Force out of him..._ \- Rey gritted her teeth, her hand itching to eject the possible-exsith into space.

She started the engine again, but they only got to roar once, then gave out.

\- Damn it... - she growled.

She has lost all control above their ship, and the stirring was also deactivated.

\- Where are we going? - Ren asked way to calmly.

\- I do not know – Rey was close to burst from frustration.

\- I may do – the young man's voice was strained.

Ren saw, as they inched closer to a ship, which was awfully familiar. Just the sight of it was enough to make his blood boil with raw rage, and he remembered, why he turned away from the Light in the first place.

\- Ren, what do you see? - Rey asked.

She probably sensed your mood – he could hear in his head – Women are weirdly sensitive in this. Trust me, she could also sense my moods, even if we were planets apart. Keep calm, or she won't let you go with her.

\- The First Order?

Ren could hear the masked fear rising in her voice.

\- Worse - he spat – The Millennium Falcon.

The young man felt the joy radiating off of her, and it made everything even more awful for him. Kylo was well aware, that Rey wanted to be Han Solo's daughter, and she wished, as if she was born as a Solo.

 _Trust me, it is not as fun as you think it is_ \- he thought bitterly, as they were slowly approaching the ship. With a large shock, the Falcon fried the engines, and headed with its bait to hutt knows where.

\- TIE-pilot, you are now in the custody of the Resistance – Rey could hear Han's voice through the comm – You have now the opportunity to surrender or you will be held captive. You choose.

Before Ren could shut the communication off, Rey opened a channel, and answered.

\- Han, it's me. I am alright it's me.

\- Rey?! How?! I could see you being... - Han didn't continue, and Kylo could hear his voice grow weak.

Nice. What a joke , Solo - he thought.

\- It's okay now. And I have company.

 _Don't!_ \- she could hear Kylo's voice in her head.

 _But..._

 _Just don't._

\- Company? - Solo asked – Who?

\- Uhm... Long story. Please, can we talk somewhere in person?

\- I'll take you to a nearby planet. General Organa will be there shortly.

 _How exactly did you think, that it was a good decision to go with her?_ \- Kylo thought.

 _Trust me. You need to let the hate and anger go. Or you will end up just like me._

 _Like what? I will be a sound in someone's head too?_

 _You will be half dead before you could even start to experience half of the things you wanted. Half dead, with the thought, that you were the cause for your own demise. Now shut up, and let her take you to your family._

Ren snorted.

 _I do not have one anymore._


	7. Chapter 7

6th: Of companions and mothers

They glided through space, right after the Falcon.

The trip was silent. Kylo did not say a word after he sent his mind-message to rey, and she did not dare to ask anything about the fact, that she could not tell Han, that Ren is on board with her.

Until now, she did not have the chance to think about what he said. That his father was on the Starkiller Base. Could he survive the explosion? Did he? Where is his mother? Who was this man before all this happened to him? No one is born evil. There had to be some pretty harsh and awful events, which lead to the creation of Kylo Ren...

\- Keep your thoughts to yourself, and do not ask for any explanations, because you will get none – she could hear Ren's hard voice.

\- I did not ask you to give one. But aren't you worried about your parents? Your father?

Ren snorted.

\- He gets away with and from anything. Trust me. He is just fine.

\- What about your mother? – Rey asked.

\- No questions.

 _Let him close himself. He will come around eventually. They always do_ – Rey heard from the voice.

 _He is hurting. I can see it. No need to be a jedi for that._ \- she told to whoever was sharing her mind.

 _What he feels is hate. That needs to be stopped, if you want him to return to the Light. For that he needs to stop being angry, and he needs to stop being afraid._

 _He can be afraid?_

 _Everyone can._

 _Even you?_

 _Yes._

 _Of what?_

 _Failure._

The voice went silent, and she could feel it retreating to a further part of her mind, as if it would leave her to think about, what they just shared. What could make Ren be afraid? She could see from their brief mind-session, that the greatest fear of him was that he will be not strong enough to whatever standard he is using. Though she would not call Darth Vader a standard, but whatever... As she pondered, Rey figured, that power in general was a weak point of him.

 _He fear of not being good_ _ **enough**_ _._

The young woman was mildly baffled by the notion, that their fear was almost the same, but from a different aspect.

She was afraid, that her parents will not come to her, as they think she will be not worthy for the effort.

He was afraid, that he will never be good enough to get recognized by anyone. Snoke could easily use this to lure the old Ren (or the man he was before), to join him, promising whatever Ren thought he needed to get stronger.

But the bad was still bad, and Rey could not forget them so easily. The mass murder Finn told her about or the other killings he did only because he was enraged... Things that cannot be unseen... Influenced or not, these were and are sins of his.

 _Of course they are. But everyone makes mistakes. Some of us make bigger than others_ – she could hear the voice.

 _He killed an entire planet just to demonstrate the power of the First Order..._

 _Technically it wasn't him, but I get your point._

Rey let out a frustrated huff, which did not go unnoticed by Kylo, though he did not ask, why she was making irritated noises. To be honest, he would bit his tongue off, than asking anything from her. Ren tried to wrap his head around recent events.

He basically committed a traitor action, leaving Snoke and the First Order. If he cannot show any valuable reason, why he did it, like killing the scavenger girl or his uncle, he cannot return to Snoke.

 _Do you want to?_

 _Not YOU again..._

 _You cannot take the killing, don't lie, I know, what is in your heart..._

 _You don't know me. So shut up. Maybe even go away. I was fine before you started to whisper random things in my head._

 _I know you even better than anyone. You are young, boiling with power, but as you see the world, you think no one is giving enough credit for you. You are so full of yourself and your actions, that you fail to realize, that on the outside, people see nothing more than a whining, greedy, unstable child with a toy sword too big and heavy to grow up to._

To say he was enraged was a big understatement. He felt helplessly angry and wanted to destroy everything surrounding him. He was not weak! He could destroy Luke Skywalker within one night! He could chase him away to hutt knows where, he even destroyed the so precious temple he wanted to build! He was the first man of the feared dark lord Snoke, and he was the grandson of Darth Vader, the most powerful sith of the known era, and for Force sake, he stopped a damned laser blast mid-air...

Now he and Rey are sliding in space after the fucking Millennium Falcon, in a TIE-wreck, and before all this, he wanted to escape with a scavenger-girl. Where did his life go soooo wrong?!

He tried to probe Rey's mind to see, if she guards her thoughts, but he met only stone walls. So she even started to learn how to resist jedi-techniques. He could not picture, how she can learn so fast. His best time of learning was one or two days, but Rey could master the Force-handling within minutes... How can she be so sensitive?

 _She has help with her..._ \- he could hear in his head.

 _Who?_ \- Ren asked immediately. Whoever teaches the scavenger girl, he needs its wisdom too.

The voice in his head paused for a moment, and Ren could picture a faceless man shifting uncomfortably.

 _An amazing and unique person. Leave it at that_ – Ren was not satisfied with the answer, but he felt, that he will not get any more information, no matter, how hard he would try

 _What should I do now?_ \- the ebony haired young man asked in his mind – _You should know, if you've put me in this situation..._

 _What now, you ask? Find peace in yourself. Clear your mind. You do not need to have an iron grip on your emotions, but try to channel them. Leave the anger behind._

 _You are repeating that jedi kriffshit, what Skywalker has always told me._

 _Then you should... I don't know, think about it maybe?_

Kylo ended the conversation then and there. He barely could contain his rage, as it tried to surface again and again. Whoever is with him in his head, if it would have a physical body, he would put an end to its life.

He tried to let his anger away, with a technique, he tried to develop when he was still the old himself. The weak self. Kylo felt almost disgusted to think about that part of his life, but he needed to accept, that this is the only way he will not destroy their only safety bubble from space.

Ren pictured his anger as a huge, glowing red energy ball, collected to his heart, but instead the usual sith absorbing motion, he tried to let the feeling away, detaching it from himself, letting it to be one with the Force, only to get purged by it. He repeated the steps again and again, and instantly, he felt a bit lighter than usual. The tight grip on his lungs loosened a bit, and he dared to take a deeper breath than usual.

 _Now we are talking_ – Ren could hear.

 _Shut it, or I will have to start again_ – he told back.

 _All the better. Practice makes a pro._

Kylo just huffed. Is there any case, when this whoever does not have the last words?

The TIE slowly shifted in space, as the Falcon decreased its speed.

Han reached the destination within twenty minutes with his old baby.

 _Still good as new_ – he thought.

Han leaned back in the driver's seat and thought back, what happened. With the Starkiller Base destroyed, how many of their own did they lost? Was this achievement so important, that these young men and women needed to die for it? He felt like, as he had jumped back in time. He thought about his own son. Was he there, when the explosions happened? Could he get away in time?

Of course. The boy is a Solo after all. He may be now thinking otherwise, but the truth still be the truth. Ben is his blood, and if anything terrible would have happened, he would have sensed it. This may be caused by Leia's Force voodoo, who knows? But Han was certain, that his son did not die.

He landed on the surface of Daharos, still pulling the TIE with him. At least Rey is safe. He liked the scavenger girl very much. He bet, that if Leia would know her, she would like Rey also. Back in the days Han would picture someone like her next to his son, an innovative and smart girl, who could balance his son's recklessness.

The older man sighed, aa he stopped the Falcon's engine, and turned to Chewie.

\- C'mon, let's see what has left from that little scavenger girl.

His furry friend roared in agreement, and they got out of the ship. As the ramp lowered to the ground, he could see two figures standing before the entrance. One with signature drapes, and Han could have recognized that two sticks of legs anywhere. So Rey was in good shape enough to walk. Good. The other was standing next to her, clad in black. Han couldn't believe his eyes.

His son was standing in front of him. Without that black mask. He could see his eyes, which were a mix of fury, rage and shame.

\- Han, I know, it is weird, with Ren and all – Rey started to try and explain the situation – But he will mean no harm this time...

The old man's first reaction was the want to hug his son, but the boy's stance was sending the „try and you die" message. Leia asked him to bring Ben back, and technically, he is here. Hutt knows how, and why, but Ben's here. Leia will be overjoyed.

\- You do realize, that I could just simply get into his head and drive him crazy? – he could hear Ben's voice.

\- That would be the last thing you could do – Rey bit back – Before you taste your own lightsaber.

In a twisted kind of way, Han could see his younger self in place of Ben, arguing with Leia, just like these two do right now.

\- Of course – He could hear Ben's cocky response.

\- Before you decide whether killing me or letting me live would be the best – Han started – I need to tell you, that General Organa is waiting for you at the base nearby.

Ren had to school his features very hard not to crack a little smile. He could see his mother again... After ten years...

 _You have no idea how much I envy you right now_ – he could hear on his head.

 _Why? For seeing my mother?_

 _Yes. I could not have the luxury of seeing mine alive and well._

Ren considered the fact how bodiless sounds could have parents, bat right after he felt like the dumbest living thing in the galaxy. This simple sentence meant, that the voice has had a physical body somewhere in the past. So he and Rey are being haunted? Wow.

 _And they said that you are almost as smart as I was..._ – he could hear.

\- When are we going to meet the General?

Rey's question brought back Kylo to the actual happenings around him.

\- Come with me – signed Han with his head – But first – he turned to Ren – Let me check if...

\- Seriously? - Kylo asked – You want to check after weapons, when you know exactly, that i could kill you without any? Father, you cannot be serious...

\- FATHER?!

The two men looked at a very appalled Rey, who was close to hyperventilation.

\- Oh, so you did not know - Ren cracked a derisive smile – I was a Solo once. Hating me now, little scavenger-jedi?

He turned his back to Rey and Han, reached for her mother's Force signature, and strode towards the warm, comforting energy.

\- I am going to strangle him – Rey hissed.

\- Don't bother – Han said – Leia would break every bone in anyone's body, who dares to harm him...

 _WHAT?!_ \- Rey thought , that this situation cannot be anymore weirder.

 _Get used to this_ – she could hear her company voice – _This family is more messed up than you think._

Rey just sighed, and went after her strangest companions ever.


	8. Chapter 8

7th: A mother's tears

Leia Organa was pacing impatiently in the meeting room.

Han was supposed to be here at least ten minutes ago. Then again he is always late. He survived the explosion, she could feel it in the Force. He could escape. Then he noticed the weird TIE hunter, away from the other ships, and he went to investigate. What can take him so long?!

The door slid open, and a pilot came in, stating that Han Solo arrived with two.. rather extreme companions. Maybe he could capture two stromtroopers? Chewie certainly had an ability to implement solid fear into those, who do not know him...

The pilot left, and shortly after Han appeared at the door. Leia opened her arms, so she can hug him, but she froze. Han brought a young girl with him, and... _their son_.

Their son was there. _With them_.

Leia broke out in silent tears. The battle, the many loss from the Resistance topped with the sheer sight of her son was too much.

\- Ben – she managed to say without tremors in her voice.

\- Mother – Ren bowed his head.

Leia could not stop the tears flow from her eyes. She looked at Han and Rey, almost mouthing a thank you for them. They brought back him to her. Her only child. She wanted to close her arms around Ren, but the young man extended his, stopping Leia mid motion.

\- Do not touch me – he stated coldly.

The tone brought Leia to an immediate stop. She tried to search for her son in the empty eyes of Kylo Ren, but she only could see a glimpse of his son. What he used to be. Other that that, Leia could see stone walls around him. Aside from the obvious closed behavior, the General's eyes sent peace and unconditional love to her son.

Han felt a sharp pain at Ben's words. Back in the days his child was inseparable from Leia. He would sit beside her, or listen to her telling stories, how she can see other people's emotions, and thoughts, they shared meals. Han felt almost excluded, when those two were together. He took him on space rides or showed him mechanical tricks, but he never got up to the level where Leia was.

He felt bitterness. How could Ben forget all this so easily?!

\- This is no way to speak to your mother – he snapped sternly.

\- Like you can give a hutt – Kylo's eyes only reflected rage, and Rey could find a hint of sadness.

Han looked at Leia, but the woman only drank in the sight of her son, standing in front of her.

The former scavenger girl looked anxiously at the building situation. It has so many outcomes. What if Ren simply Force-kills his parents? What could she do then? How could she stop him from doing so?

 _He won't hurt her, I can promise you that_ – she could hear the familiar voice inside her head.

 _How do you know that for so sure?_ – Rey asked wordlessly

 _Just from the way he looks at his mother. I remember my dearest clinging to Shmi so much, when we first met. Trust me. They never change in this aspect._

 _This aspect?_

 _Watch his eyes. Those tell everything._

 _Right now he is ten kinds of angry..._

 _Look closer._

Rey studied Kylo's features, and she could distinguish a slight difference between the feelings he felt towards the two elders. While Han was addressed with rage and bitterness Leia recieved shame and guilt, colored with abandonment.

\- General, the enemy ships are gone, bit the remains of our fleet arrived – a pilot stepped into the room, but as she saw Kylo he stopped dead in his tracks – Shit...

Kylo just looked at him emotionlessly.

The pilot grabbed his blaster, and fired a shot at him, but Ren simply stopped the shot with the Force mid air.

\- I start to think, that this is your kind of welcome – the young man stated – Flattering to see you again.

 _This must be Poe Dameron_ – Rey thought.

Looking at him, she had to admit, that he was kind of handsome. Brown hair, brown eyes, slightly bronze skin... The kind of man, women on Jakku would go for.

The blaster-shot vibrated slightly in the air, which gave away, that Kylo was currently in her head again, rummaging through her thoughts. Rey gritted her teeth and slammed the door for her thoughts shut. The black clad man was looking at Poe as if he would have done something offending which cannot be tolerated.

\- What is this doing here? – Daemeron asked eyeing Kylo, blaster still aimed at the young man's heart.

Leia wrinkled her eyebrows, silently chiding Poe, as if she would scold a child for saying inappropriate words.

\- He is here to stay – Leia told him in an even voice – Until I decide otherwise.

\- As hostage? - Daemeron asked hopingly.

\- As a guest.

 _That went way to easy_ – Rey thought, looking at Kylo, who still held the blast in the air.

Upon hearing this, Kylo's face reflected nothing, only his eyes have sent a grateful look at his mother, his features softening a bit. It was only for a split of second, but Rey smirked inwardly.

 _This is kind of cute_ \- she sent to the being residing in her.

 _Told you_ – she could hear the voice – _They can never say no to their mother..._

 _You are lucky._

Kylo tried to ignore the voice, but if he wanted to be honest with himself, it was right. He missed his mother. But Solo... Still as useless, as ever.

 _You have the gift I could not have... Cherish it. You've turned away from it. That is not how it should be, not how it should HAVE BEEN in the first place. Look at them..._

Kylo wanted to take his eyes off of his former family, and the scavenger girl. Daemeron kept on jumping from thought to thought about him and his killing instinct, but the laser trick was enough to shut him up, at least for a little while.

Then Leia stated that he will be there as a guest, and not captive, and he almost forget to keep his face intact. Somehow the hate towards Solo was not strong enough to keep some light away from him. He looked at Rey, who was eyeing him with a different look. Not hatred, not sadness, but a big amount of... Serenity. Peace. Happiness.

Kylo wanted to toss those away. Useless feelings, which leave him weak... who needs them...

 _She looked at me like that. On the day of our wedding..._

 _They needed to keep their relationship a secret._

 _The ceremony was very small. Only a priest was there from her home planet, who vanished after he finished the speech, being to afraid to be exposed to the jedi council's wrath for breaking the codex. She was beautiful in her white gown, looking up at him with big, loving eyes. In that moment, he was the most powerful person in the world, holding the most precious angel of his..._

 _\- No one can take this away from us, right? – she asked._

 _\- No – he nodded – I love you._

 _\- I love you too, Ani. So much._

Kylo looked at Rey, who needed to grip a nearby chair tight because of the memory.

He knew, that his grandfather was Anakin Skywalker before he became Darth Vader, but... Could this Ani be the Anakin?

Took you longer, that I hoped it would, considering the fact, that you idolize my past bad decisions so much... – he could hear the voice again.

\- Son? – Leia asked hesitantly.

She did not get much about his son's and the new girl's interaction, but she supposed, it has to do something with the Force. She could also sense it, but she could not point a finger on it.

Ren just looked at the girl, not saying a word, but even without any, she could feel something shifting.

The younger Skywalker twin did not want to take any Force-classes. She left that part for Luke, the lightsabers, telekinesis and such. The Vader heritage of their blood. Leia could only presume, that the instincts were coming from their mother. Such a voice told her in that moment, that even though, now she can only see Kylo Ren, Ben Solo is not that far away from the surface. All she needed to have now, was patience.

\- Let it go – she said to Ren, pointing to the blast with her head – And avoid to hit anything.

He motioned the blast to impact near to Daemeron's head, into the wall. The pilot wanted to open his mouth to complain, but Rey shook her head, signing not to engage into any conflict.

\- You two – Leia glanced at Rey and Ren with curiosity – are going to stay here with me. Han, please aid Poe with the plans the BB unit gave us. There is no one, who knows the galaxy better than you.

Han and Poe bowed their heads slightly in agreement, and Rey could catch a glimpse of hopelessness on the old man's face. She could not picture, what was the cause of Ren's backturning to the Light, but Han could play a major role in it...

 _The needed approval he thought he never got_ – she could hear the voice's sad laugh – _They really are the same... You know, back the, there was no one, who could separate them from each other. They were the unbeatable duo during the war..._

 _Who?_ – Rey asked wordlessly, while she sat to the table with Kylo next to her, and General Organa on the other side of it.

 _Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker._

Rey could not contain herself. She was looking at Kylo with the same amount of „what?!" as the young man was looking at her.

 _Who are you, to know these things?_ – she asked.

 _As odd as it sounds, I am Kylo Ren's grandmother. Well, partly. Another part of me is you. Or you are me. As you wish to phrase. But given the fact, that I am the silent one, you are you and I am your guide._

 _To what?! Craziness?!_ – Rey screamed in her head.

 _I assure you, that you are a sane person. I am here to guide you, how to tame a Skywalker._

 ** _Author's Note: Heyyyy guys :) Kinda nervous author here, but I guess that is not new. Sorry for the long non-update, but life decided no free-time for me. Cross fingers plz, as I am doing my driver's licence (or lisence? I will never know how that is written correctly...) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this part also, aaand if you have time, well review :) Untill next time :)_**


	9. Chapter 9

8th: Of past, present and clarity

Rey felt the need to sit down somewhere. How the... what the... why the...

 _Deep breaths, Rey, everything is going to be alright_ – she thought – _This is just Kylo Ren's ancestor inside your head, nothing you cannot handle. Who am I trying to fool right here?! I am screwed on so many levels..._

She could picture the woman inside of her head sitting down on a comfortable chair and wait until her small freakout goes by.

Rey looked at General Organa, who motioned them to sit down to the table in front of her. She accepted the offer immediately, however Kylo seemed to be more than reluctant to be in the same room as his mother. He looked at the floor, not daring to meet Leia's gaze.

The older woman rested her wise eyes on the two of them.

\- Could you please explain, what happened to you two? - she asked - I can sense there is something off with you two – Leia looked at her son with all the sternness she could muster in that moment – And don't get me wrong, although I am overjoyed, that you are back, and I hoped that this day will come once, I know for a fact, that you would not appear only because you suddenly realized what you have done to...

She did not end the sentence, but Kylo knew exactly to what his mother referred to. After all the horrible things, he thought that his mother had abandoned him completely, and would not wait for him.

 _She loves you deeply_ \- he could hear Anakin's voice. Ren could only hum in agreement.

\- I... - he started, realizing that his voice almost failed him – I need Skywalker's help. We are...

\- We have a problem only he can advise us how to solve – Rey ended the sentence. Ren nodded.

 _Referring to me as a problem... This hurts_ – Padme said – _I was called a lot of names, brat, princess, and so on, but problem..._

\- I know this sounds crazy and all, but we really need Master Skywalker's help to figure everything out - Rey said.

Leia looked at her, that at Kylo.

\- Son, I love you, but how can I be sure, that you will not...

Rey instantly cut in, before Leia could finish, saving Ren from sinking even deeper into the pit of shame and guilt.

\- If he tries to do anything funny, he can definitely count on the fact, that I will help him find another hand or leg or head instead of his own.

Leia tried very hard not to let a little smile escape her face.

The expression on her son's face was the best consolation for her. She could tell, that Ben Solo was buried very deep, but after Han got out of the room, Ben let his features relax a bit. She still could not determine, if he is trustworthy, but she decided, that one try will not hurt so much.

Secrets and no trust was the reason her family fall into pieces in the first place. She will not make that same mistake again, however, she could not allow Ben to roam around their base whenever he wanted to. Not until he earned this privilege again.

She looked at the scavenger girl in front of her.

\- You, my child. Go, and get some rest, and I am guessing, a long 'fresher session could also relax you a bit. If you go out of the door, they will escort you.

She saw the girl biting her lip, and glancing at Ben.

\- Don't worry, he will not do any harm to me.

The young woman stood up from her seat, and bowed slightly to Leia.

\- With all due respect, General – she said – If half of the stories Han told me are true, I am more worried about him right now...

Before Ren could utter a sound, Rey was exiting the room, and he was alone with his mother. He looked at her, seeing love and forgiveness in her eyes. Kylo could not bear the gaze, stood up and walked to the window.

\- You are back – he could hear Leila's voice – You are truly here...

\- Do not get any ideas, mother – Ren tried his best to put on a neutral façade, wanting to distance himself – I merely seeking answers. Do not get used to this.

 _What the hutt are you doing?!_ – Anakin screamed – _You have the chance to right everything! To be with your mother! Don't be an idiot!_

 _I cannot go back_ – Kylo thought – _She's blinding herself to the fact that her son is dead._

 _You miss her._

 _How do I know that it is my feeling? Not yours, like when you made me kiss Rey?_

 _Insufferable brat! It wasn't me. That was you. Wanna know how I know? I have NO access to your feelings. Nothing. I can advise you, but the actions are yours._

Kylo could not answer or come back with anything.

Leia smiled sadly, still eyeing her son.

Ten years. She didn't see him in ten long years. He has grown so much. Han's eyes looked back at her with distance in them. They should be around the same height now, Ben and him...

\- I can never get used to your sight – she said, stepping a bit closer, but refusing the urge to touch him – What I have told before, is true. You are no prisoner. However, you cannot walk around at the base unescorted.

Kylo snorted.

\- You wish to get me guards? You cannot be serious. I cannot be contained by them...

\- Well then, I guess, you can start to prove that you mean no harm to us – Leia told him.

Ren sighed impatiently, looking at his mother as she would have something loose in her head.

\- You should at least act like I am a threat to you...

\- You are. The Round Table thinks we should simply tranquillise you and put the binding wristlock on you – Leia said with an even tone – However, we destroyed the First Order's base, and as far as I can see, a prominent Ren knight is now our captive now. We have reeked quite a havoc...

\- Really? – Kylo almost laughed out loud – what would stop me from contacting them through the Force?

Leia arched an eyebrow, stepped closer, and Ren felt as if the woman wants to look inside his empty soul. The General studies him for a few moment.

\- You are right – she said – very well, than I shall accept the round table's opinion.

She took the simple, mechanic metal peace from her wrist, and closed it on Kylo's

\- What the... – he managed, before he could feel a part of his self go numb.

Ren sensed, that his Force energy is bound to the metal, pulsing, shimmering just below his skin, being trapped inside of him.

\- What is this? - he asked, masking the rising fear in his voice with an even tone.

\- That will hold you in control. You wanted your Force powers to be caged, well, there you go. Only your father and I am capable of removing that, and it will remain on you as long as you stay here. Oh, and don't bother with reaching the spies of the Order among us. They are gone.

For a brief moment, Kylo could see the ever so proud and prepared fighter his mother was during the first rebellion against the Empire. He almost forgot to be mad on her for binding him.

 _My daughter is in every bit so resourceful and beautiful as her mother_ – Anakin chuckled.

 _So I have no access to my power, and yet, you are still here_ – Ren was honestly curious how that could happen.

 _Guess that wristlock did not separate the Force from your soul_ – Kylo could imagine Anakin doing a shrug – _That is really high tech though. It didn't exist in my time..._

Leia took a deep breath and clapped her hands together.

\- So, it is just as I said. You can go anywhere you want, as long as the binder is on you. You are no captive and no prisoner. You are my son, somewhere beneath all this whatever you project. I will be waiting. But right now, I'm guessing you need some pace. Your room is there, where you left it.

Leia exited the room, leaving Kylo with his thoughts. He looked around the room, feeling, that he does it belong here. But, with Anakin in his head, he could not go back to the Order either. For the first time, since he had switched he Light to the Dark, he could not find comfort in it...

Rey was escorted to a room with bright windows, and spacious living area. She had a bed there, which looked all too comfortable, a dresser, probably empty, a small table with a couch and she had her own bathroom. Suddenly every inch of her skin felt utterly dirty, used and sore.

She thanked the soldiers, who aided her, and as soon as the door slid closed, she discarded all her used clothes and jumped in the fresher. She let the mild water to cleanse her, and after a few rounds she officially deemed herself clean.

 _This feels good_ – she could hear Padme sigh.

 _I assume you were not accustomed to the desert and sun..._ – Rey mused.

 _No, but I have met Anakin on a desert planet much like Jakku._

Rey arched her eyebrow, while attempting to dry her hair with a towel. Someone has prepared clean clothes for her, which looked somewhat like her scavenger outfit, but from a much finer material. After dressing up she sat on the bed, folding her legs under herself.

 _I cannot imagine, how the person you fell in love with could be the same person who killed with cold blood and reigned the galaxy..._ – said Rey, closing her eyes in an attempt of meditation. She tried to picture, how Padme could look.

Taking a deep breath, she slipped her mind in a state of relaxed easiness, hoping that she did everything good.

 _You make the assumption, that the two persons are the same_ – Padme said – _Try and see it my way, just like I showed you._

Rey could see in this makeshift meditative way, as a petite woman forms in front of her. The woman's brown hair was cascading to her back. She wore a yellow-purple dress, and suddenly Rey felt very conscious about herself, thinking that she will never be this graceful, even if she tried with all her might.

 _Hello, Rey_ – she smiled.

 _You are... you..._

 _Yes_ – Padme smiled – _It is very joyful to see you in person. Well, more or less at least._

 _You too_ – Rey managed to muster.

 _Why the startled look?_ – Padme smiled – _Am I not the person you expected to speak to?_

 _I have seen that dress_ – blurted Rey the first thing that came to her mind.

Padme blinked in confusion, and then looked at her attire. She blushed a bit.

 _Sorry, I could not contain my memories_ – she said – _Ben does hold a lot of similar traits to his Grandfather._

Rey shifted in her seat a bit, and concentrated on the conversation at hand again.

 _How do you mean the sentence "Tame a Skywalker"?_ – she asked.

The former queen of Naboo wrinkled her eyebrows a bit.

 _The Skywalker boys are really stubborn, when it comes to admitting anything, and when they made a decision, there is no living soul who can get them to change their mind, unless you use the right method. Although I don't think I can teach you much..._ – she said, sitting on a sofa, that appeared.

She pat the place next to her, and motioned with her hand to Rey to sit with her. The young woman sat down, still a bit intimidated by the presence of Ren's grandmother.

 _You want me to be with him? –_ Rey asked.

That would be rich, wouldn't it? She pictured herself going to battle for Kylo Ren's maybe redeemable soul, and the fact, that half of herself applauded for this thought, scared her even more.

 _Yes, and no_ \- Padme said, as if she could have sensed the way Rey's thoughts wandered - _Yes, because you are an independent, strong person, someone who he can rely on, when his emotions run wild. Trust me, as I have known his grandfather, there will be tantrums_ – the senator let herself go back a bit to the memory, when Anakin got upset about something. She let him ride out his rage in silence, and after that the only thing she had to do, was to touch him, and Anakin was instantly a bit relaxed. She wanted to believe, that the same rule can be applied to Ben also - _And no, because he is not ready for that yet. He needs to realize, that by taking him with you, you saved his life, not ruined it – Padme answered, with concern in her voice._

She should have seen the signs of Anakin's pain and dilemma.

She should have known, that he will go unimaginable lengths to save her life, and that it could be his downfall. Like it has been.

She could not save Anakin from selling his soul to the Dark in exchange for her life. Now, she has a chance to do the right thing with her grandson, and she will be damned, if she lets the chance go by.


	10. Chapter 10

**Before You start: Okay, sorry, I kinda did not upoad well anything for a very-very-veeeeeery long time... Kinda messed up life things, workplace changed, and so on, I could list a lot of bad excuses. Main reason for not writing is/was a huge writer's block. Please forgive, and read, and rewiev, and enjoy! Nezu ^^**

9th: Small steps on the way

\- Rey, are you okay? – Finn asked concerned – You didn't touch your food all evening...

The young woman simply nodded. What would she say?

No worries, I am fine, just Darth Vader's wife lives sorta in my head now? Yes, that would make sense to everyone.

\- Leave her be, Finn – Poe sat down next to him – I was on that damned Base once as hostage, remember? When I was free, I could not eat for days... PTS is a bitch...

Rey tried not to giggle, but she could not stop a small sound escape from her lips. Poe flashed a charming smile in her direction, than looked at Finn.

\- See? – he pointed out – She is recovering.

Rey was thankful for Poe, as he saved her from a pretty messed up explanation. The sooner they find Luke the better. Even if Padme was right, there must be a way to...

 _Shut me up? Rey, I was a queen and a senator back then. My job was literally to speak until I have no voice..._ – she could hear.

 _No, but there has to be a reason, why we share my body now..._

 _To be fair, you still have your body to your own. I serve as a... Subconscious maybe..._

 _One loud subconscious_ – Rey bit back playfully.

Padme made a half irritated half amused snort. If Rey needed to picture her in that moment, the ex-senator would have been in a large, comfy chair, sitting elegantly and patiently in that black lace nightmare of a dress that she saw in her memories.

The scavenger girl looked back at her two new friend. The guys tried everything to cheer her up, even though they had no idea what really bothered her.

Ren sighed irritatedly. His new room – well lit, comfortable and whatnot to be fair – was more like a prison to him...

His mother told to the others, that he is not captive, but after all that they still behaved as he would be one. He could not go alone to anywhere, let alone to find Rey, and he did not get the information, where his former master and uncle is.

Of course, he did not want any fireworks after the way he left, but this eerie silence was even worse as a „no hostage", than the way the Resistance would handle a prisoner. He needed something, anything to get occupied with. Ren plopped on his bed, closing his eyes.

 _You can always meditate..._ – he heard in his head.

 _No thank you_ – Ren answered immediately.

 _Why?_

 _Do you have any idea what I see during meditations?_

 _Death? Suffering? Your mother dying?_ – Anakin asked – _Or maybe your wife? Loved ones? Burning pain?_

Ren instantly shot into a sitting position. He put his forehead in his hands, sighing deeply. His dark curls shielded his eyes like a curtain.

 _I have seen them_ – Anakin said – A _ll of them. Those thoughts pulled me to the Dark. The fear of them. I have made a bargain, with the wrong party. My master and good friend wanted to teach me how to meditate properly, how I could get rid of them. Back then I thought I was better than to learn some mind-whiz and used the dark thoughts as evidence. In the end I almost exterminated my own kind..._

Ren swallowed hard. He did almost the same thing. His guts were twisting with disgust of himself. He killed so many... How would anyone forgive him? How could his mother do so?!

 _You are here to redeem yourself_ – he heard Anakin say.

 _Shouldn't that be your objective?_ – Ren asked.

 _Then my best guess is that we both have to work, don't you think?_

The raven haired young man did not answer this question, but deep inside he could not understand how the former Jedi order could handle his grandfather's smart mouth.

Leia wanted to organize a meeting in the afternoon, to discuss the further steps need to be taken to beat the Order once and for all. Even if they could blow up the Base, the Senate's planet was destroyed, and millions of lives were taken in a blink of an eye. Leia wanted to get ahead of the building chaos, and the Resistance also needs help to recover the loss of its soldiers. The chaos needs to be stopped before it even has a chance to start

She looked out of her widows to the space jets, and tried to figure out the last few hours.

Who is this girl? She seemed somehow familiar to her. As if they would be bonded somehow... Her son and she definitely are. Leia wanted to burst in happy tears. It does not matter, who this girl is. She brought her son back.

The door opened behind her, and she could feel Han entering the conference room.

\- He is back – he rasped, not believing his own eyes.

\- Not yet – Leia said – But I have hope. NOW I have it.

Han simply hugged his wife. He was an idiot. He shouldn't have left back then.

\- We all coped as we could - she said again just like she told him before the raid – and we all tried to do what we do best. Smuggling, is what you do. Being reckless is my thing, remember?

The man cracked a tired smile, letting Leia go for a bit.

\- What will we do now? - he asked.

Leia shook her head, rounded her desk in the office to stare out of the window.

\- We need to strike the First Order as long as they are unstable because of their loss, and Luke needs to return, to...

\- You know very well, that this is not what I meant – Han said quickly – As much as I love our son, he... He did what he did, and things cannot be unseen...

The former queen of Alderaan looked at her husband with hints of accusation in her eyes.

\- We both know, that the Rebellion and the Resistance also did unspeakable things back in the day.

\- But we did not destroy a whole city or village, and those, who inhabited it... We did not kill children... This is something, that we need to come to terms with. Not just we, but the whole base, our allies... As much as I love my son...

\- Don't you think, that we are also at fault for letting him down? You? Me? Even Luke? He may have blood on his hands, but we let his hand go. I am maddened by the thought, that we have failed him.

Han understood what she meant oh so well.

When Ben was a little kid, Han tried to win his interest for mechanics, machines, flying, but he felt excluded, as every time Ben saw his mother, he ran to her, little flying objects following him, as he extended his blooming Force capabilities around himself. He showed stunts to Han, hoping for something, but Han could not understand with his younger head. _A mighty power, that holds the Light and the Dark in itself, surrounding every living being and inanimate objects_ seemed so mystic to him, that every compliment he could muster seemed so false and unbelievable, that Ben stopped to show for him any tricks after a while.

Then the nightmares began. Little Ben woke up screaming in the middle of the night, crying in pain or in agony, running to his mother, telling about horrific pictures about killing, pain, and fire all around him. The longer Ben suffered from these dreams, the more introverted he became, and Han **_hated_** the fact, that his child is so sensitive. He never heard Luke or Leia talk about nightmares, and after countless nights next to his wife, he was certain, that Leia did not have any of these visions.

Then they figured, it would be easier for Ben to understand his capabilities, if he would train with his Uncle Luke, and they sat down with little 10 year old Ben, telling him, that he will be sent to live with Luke for a while, to get trained, to get help, to get rid of the pain.

Ben just stood there, looking fully defeated, agreeing to every word. Han truly believed, that they did the right thing.

They saw him very rarely after that, maybe once or twice a year. At the beginning, Ben seemed happy. Content. He told them, that he miss them, any tries his best to be a powerful Jedi, just like Luke. The dark circles were gone from under his eyes, and Luke was also praising him, making Han the proudest father in the entire galaxy. He started to visit the New Republic's archive to see what information was left of the Jedi and the Force, so that he could build a connection to his son.

As Ben reached the age of fourteen, things worsened again. The visions came back, and according to Luke, he had fights with other students on the academy. He frequently got into arguments with Luke also, and the temper issues begun. Ben closed up, and the next thing they realized, he left the academy, guided by Snoke, killing almost every student in the academy, leaving a devastated Luke behind.

Han wanted to be sceptic about the return of Ben. This could be a trap (Admiral Ackbar, salute to you, Han thought), or maybe, just _maybe_ , this petite girl from a far away planet can be the key to their son again...

\- We cannot keep his identity in a small circle of people, and here are more fighters, than Ben can handle – Leia said – Someone is bound to try avenging losses maybe sooner than later, and is reckless to try and fight him.

\- I know – Han sat down on a chair – But we will handle the storm when it comes. But this time, we will do it together.

Leia smiled lovingly on her husband. She stepped next to him, enveloping Han in a hug.

\- Together.

Burning pain was engulfing Ren's body, while he saw everything vanish in hellish fire. He heard his mother pleading for mercy, for help, he could see Rey lying on the ground lifeless, in a twisted position, blood pooling from her scalp.

 _Mother..._ \- he managed to say – _I am here, please hear me, please... I will save you, please... don't leave me again..._

His eyes snapped open.

He was lying on the floor. Somehow he fell from his bed? What happened?

Oh, yes. He tried to meditate, and just right then, the visions started.

 _You do it only halfheartedly_ \- he could hear Anakin – _You start with the solid belief, that you will not succeed in finding peace._

 _Try finding peace with_ _ **my**_ _past_ – Kylo barked back – _You will find it also fucking hard..._

 _I know. It was hard for me too, but you do not have to think about the consequences of your actions confided in a walking machine, that sustains what is left from your body, so be grateful to the Force for having a second chance._

Ren felt the impatience and rage coming from his grandfather.

 _I am torn, and one part of me is sick from the other's actions. I killed so many_ – Ren said defeated after a short period of silence.

 _As did I_ – Anakin's voice sounded tired in his head (or soul, Ren could not decide) - _But change comes one step at a time. You cannot undo the past, but you have the opportunity to create a better future for yourself and the others._

 _What shall I do, when Snoke starts searching for me? He will find the base, he will find them. He will be asking for me, I can_ _ **feel**_ _him searching for me through the Force._

 _That_ _ **is**_ _a tough one_ – Anakin agrees – _First, do you_ _ **want**_ _to be found?_

Ren wants to say yes, but he could not bring himself to it. For years, he thought, that he found his place with Snoke, with the Knights of Ren, but now he is in pieces. He thought, that his Grandfather would be oh so proud of him, following his path. Snoke said himself, that he has a great power within him. If only he would not fight the Dark...

But it was his **grandfather** who urged him to leave, and since then... he would lie to himself, if he said, that he does not feel a sort of freedom. Of course, he could still feel the Dark energy flowing in his system, but he was far better at controlling himself, and not only because of this stupid band on his wrist.

 _I do not belong there anymore_ – he said eventually.

 _You are right_ – Ren could imagine Anakin nodding in agreement.

 _But I do not belong here either._

 _Maybe, but this will be the next step to take._

 _What?_

 _Figuring out_ _ **where exactly**_ _your place in the world is._

 _Will you help me?_ \- the question slipped out before Kylo could stop himself.

 _Ben... As soon as you find your place, you will realize, that my help is the last thing you needed. Now stand up, and go for a walk._

The raven haired man was confused.

 _What for?_ \- he asked.

 _Because I am fucking bored looking at your room all day..._

Ben could not stop cracking a small smile on that last sentence.

Only a few minutes later, when he walked in the woods did he stop for a moment because of the thought, that he referred to himself as Ben for the first time in maybe ten years.


	11. Chapter 11

10th: Bonds to be broken

Rey wanted to get a bit away from the crowd of the base. After being alone for so long, she could not stand a lot of people in one place. No wonder she could not understand Finn's constant urge for handholding and Poe's poking in the ribs, arms, occasional outbursts of joy.

In the forest she felt free.

She was fascinated by the trees that reached for the sky, and the flowers, that bloomed on clearings. Rey knew, that she was childish, feeling joy over something like this, but she could not help herself. While standing under a tree with low branches, she did a quick jump, already climbing upwards.

 _What is with you and plants?_ \- she could hear Padme's amused voice.

 _I don't know. I could not see something like this before._

 _You are like a child_ – the former queen laughed.

 _If you do not stop being mean, I will tell Han_ – Rey joked.

Although Rey could not disagree with her completely. Even she felt, that emotionally, she could be very well labelled as underdeveloped. Rey deliberately cut herself off from all the other scavengers on Jakku, believing, that her family will come to her rescue. The first general contact with another living being was when she met BB8 and Finn.

Rey sat on one of the lower branches, one feet dangling from the tree, looking at the green scenery all around her.

 _Since Starkiller, I did not try any Force stuff_ – she thought – _Do you think I could do it again?_

 _The Force is with you_ – Padme answered. Rey could picture her sitting comfortably on her throne – _But I cannot give any instructions for you as how to call for it. You should search for my son. Luke has inherited Ani's powers. I myself was not Force sensitive. Not that I wanted to be..._

 _Not that you needed..._

Padme just snorted a bit with mirth.

Rey closed her eyes, and remembered her own state of mind as she was bind to that metal table from hell. How she needed to calm herself to control that soldier. Rey took a deep breath, and concentrated. She could feel the Force bubbling under her skin. She tried to imagine it moving, how it flows with her blood.

 _You should try it with a fruit..._ \- she suddenly heard Padme say. Rey's eyes snapped open.

 _I'm sorry, what?_

She could literally feel the former senator blushing furiously.

 _Nothing..._

 _A fruit..._ \- the brunette girl thought - _It is not a bad idea..._

She hopped off of the branch, wandering a bit deeper into the forest, looking for something similar to the fruits she saw in the cantina on the base earlier. What to do with it, or how to learn with it... She decided that would be a problem for later. For now, she needs to settle for her physical capabilities

On that note, they still had no clue as where Luke Skywalker could be, even though she helped BB8 to deliver a small map to General Organa. As it turned out, it was just a part of a much bigger picture, and Leia could not identify the solar system in which it was located. Based on the information Kylo has accidentally slipped, he does not know either, and he had access to the system maps back then. This was the definition of "Oh, Force, why...".

As Rey got to another clearing on her path, she froze. The young woman felt a strong presence, that made the hairs on her neck stand up, and her stomach coil. She peeked from behind a tree, careful not to be seen. For a brief moment she forgot how to breath.

Ren was there, possibly meditating, with his back to a tree. He did not wear any robes, just black pants, and Rey could see the scars that covered his upper body. Old gashes, and a few pink ones too. With the amount of power he was oozing from himself, it was hard to believe, that he found a stronger opponent than himself. His eyes were closed, and for a short moment, Rey could see him as a person in search for peace, not the man, who has violence and blood carved into his past and present.

 _I should go, before he..._ \- Rey thought.

\- Too late – Kylo opened one eye, looking at her – What does an all good all Light girl like you want from a dark, violent creature such as me?

 _How can he rile me up with only one sentence?_ \- the girl grinded her teeth silently.

\- Little, uncertain Jedi – Kylo stood from his place – It is way to easy to get under your skin.

 _Get out of my head!_ \- Rey screamed, shutting an imaginary door to her mind.

The young man pulled a half smile, not looking startled by the sudden connection loss.

\- As you wish – he bowed his head, getting closer to her – I could sense, you need a bit of a help...

Rey was still livid, but part of her could not break the eye contact with him.

\- Why are you here? Are you following me around to see who I want to kill next?

Although Rey felt, that Kylo only wanted to irk and mock her, she felt the biter undertone in his voice.

\- No – she said without any fear in her - I am sure, you do not need escort.

\- Then you simply couldn't keep yourself away from me. Father once told me, that this will happen at some point...

 _Are you sure, that Anakin Skywalker is in him? Because I could punch Kylo Ren into oblivion right now..._ \- Rey thought.

 _That must be the Solo gene_ – Padme commented.

\- For your information, I was just in search for... something to test with – she told him, trying her very best not to think about his dark eyes, and the fact that he is still shirtless.

\- Test? Test what? - Kylo was confused for a moment, but then he got it – You wanted to see what else you are capable of with the Force.

Rey felt like a little kid who was caught playing with the fire, and blushed a little.

\- So what, if I did? - she asked.

\- You do know, that I can teach you, right?

The young woman almost snorted with a very un-ladylike way. Fat chance for that one...

Ben did not need to look into Rey's head to know exactly what she thinks.

 _Leave it be_ – Anakin said – _You cannot force her._

Ben left Rey's side to retrieve his shirt and west. He knew, that she will not trust him. Even he did not trust **himself**. The stable goals of his life were kicked out from under him. The thoughts, he ignored, the guilt because of them invaded him, and for that he could only blame the scavenger girl standing on the edge of the clearing, eyeing Ben suspiciously.

 _Something is funny_ – he felt Anakin's signature spark up.

Ben froze.

 _What is it?_ \- he asked.

 _Brace yourself._

 _But for wha..._

He could not end the sentence, as striking, gut wrenching pain was evading his whole body. He fell to his knees, a silent scream forming on his lips. Rolling on his side he tried to shield himself by curling into a ball, but it did not help. Anakin's voice was melted into the red hot pain Ben felt in his brain. Rey shouted something in the distance, but the only thing he could hear was a sharp whisper, slicing his consciousness.

 _ **Boy, you betrayed us. You betrayed me. My trust... OUR TRUST IN YOU.**_

Snoke has found him. It was bound to happen, but he did not anticipate THIS. Of course, he endured physical abuse from time to time, when he failed to complete a training task, but those were nothing compared to this hell.

 _ **You really thought, that it will be THIS easy to get away from me?**_

He tried to find his footing in the midst of the whirling agony, tried to find Anakin's helping hand.

 _Grandfather?!_ \- he shouted – _Help me..._

 _ **Do you think Darth Vader will stand on your side?!**_

Ben was doing his best to concentrate on Anakin's faint signature in the darkness, and he could pick up the thin string of it.

 _I am here, Ben_ – he could hear Anakin's distinct and calm voice – _Brace and calm yourself. Just as you did during meditations. Calm yourself, and find your center. I am here with you._

Ben could feel Snoke's confusion, as he tried to do as he was told, but he lost his footing every time.

The raven haired man could feel someone touching him. He opened his eyes, and through the fog of lava-like pain he saw a pair of hazel eyes. Rey stroked his hair away from his face.

\- Kylo! Talk to me, what is happening? Kylo?! - she asked almost hysterically.

\- S...Snoke... - he choked out. He could feel the blood start to drip from his nose.

\- What the – Rey almost freaked out – What shall I do?

\- Look at me... Stay...

Rey's gaze gave him a stability, that helped him find Anakin again.

 _Concentrate, Ben_ – Anakin dictated – _Find your center and banish this son of a kriff. Just listen to me._

 _ **Fool boy, you think you can stand a chance? I will rip your mind apart. Every ounce of power you have, I can rip it away from you.**_

 _Not this time_ – Anakin cut in sneering – _Not from my family, and not ever. Come on Ben, just one last time._

Ben felt that for a brief moment, his Force energy and his Grandfather's strength were united, and in the exact same time Snoke was whipped out from his mind. He was hundred percent sure, that it is not for forever. Now they had the element of surprise, but he knew, that Snoke will try again and again.

Silence and _nothing_ filled his numb mind, and Ben felt he could vomit from the shock. The last thing that he heard was Rey's voice again, calling out for him, as he fainted to the dark nothing that awaited his tired body.

\- You think he will be awake again? - Ben heard a hushed voice.

\- Don't be dumb, of course he will...

The young man wanted to open his eyes, but his lids were weighing a ton, just like his muscles.

\- Yes, but what if...

\- Shut up, or **you** will wake him up.

This was Rey. Ben accepted the fact, that he will forever remember her tone, whether he wanted it or not.

\- Do you think he endured half of what he caused to others? He sure deserves a Carma gut punch...

 _If someone has visitors like me, I do not think, that I need any more enemies..._ \- Ben thought a bit bitterly.

\- I saw him screaming in pain. I do not think, that I could have endured that, let alone repel it. As much as I hate to admit it, he has some skills.

Somewhere, deep, way deep down, Ben's ego started to shine and purr with delight hearing her say that.

\- Fangirling much?

In an alternate universe, FN-2187 had no legs and hands anymore.

\- Shut it, I said – Rey was positively angry now, although she was still whispering – If you two cannot be quiet, then talk bad in another room...

\- Where else we could be, when you do not leave his side?

Ben felt again, that unconsciousness wins over him, slipping into nothing.

He sat in a comfortable chair in a well lit, round room. He had traditional Jedi robes on. The sun began to set on the planet he was on. The door slid open, and a tall man entered the room, clad in Light Jedi.

He had ash blond hair, striking blue eyes, just like his Uncle's, on the right side of his face he had a small scar. His muscular body radiated power, calmness.

\- Anakin? - Ben asked, not believing his eyes.

\- Glad to meet you in person – Anakin smiled – Well, almost...

\- I am dreaming right now – Ben said looking around, standing up to greet his grandfather.

\- Sort of. I wanted to talk to you after what happened in the forest, and your body was still weak after your small encounter with Snoke. This was a much easier way to communicate.

Ben nodded.

\- I wanted to thank you, for your help, and for standing by my side...

Anakin held his hand up.

\- This is the issue I wanted to discuss. We could stop him this time, but I will not be in your head forever. After my time with you is up, you will have to fend for yourself – Ben nodded, so Anakin continued – You have to accept, that with this defiance, you are a traitor and an enemy in Snoke's eyes. You cannot return there. Ever. Do you understand?

Ben nodded again.

\- I don't want to – he said – But I do not know, what to do with myself now...

Anakin looked out of the window.

\- Defeating Snoke should be the first priority. Even if you do not want to have anything to do with the Resistance, as long as he lives, you will not find peace anywhere. Then you can start to think about who you are. Or who knows, maybe you will find it on the way defeating Snoke...

Ben checked his reflection on the glass. He found the brown-beige robe ill fitting to himself, as if he would not be worthy to wear such clothes.

\- I am not a Jedi knight as Uncle Luke. I am not a Sith lord as Darth Sidius was... I am nothing but a fraud to either side of the Force... And a disgrace to my family's name...

\- I would not say that – Anakin shook his head – You have a great power, but... you took it from the wrong end... But that is something you need to figure out yourself.

Anakin turned away from the window, and made his way to the door.

\- And Rey? - asked Ben.

\- What about her? - the blonde man looked at him with a small hint of a smile in his eyes.

\- I don't know...

\- If you want her, I give you a small detail about your grandmother, just for the fun of it. It took me a lot of courting, a lot of begging and we had to face a life threatening danger to get her admit her feelings. Soooo... for women, I have one advice: good luck.

Ben stared at the closing door and his grandfather's back, while he tried to picture said danger...


	12. Chapter 12

11th: Invisible wounds

Rey only left Kylo's side, when Leia, told her to do so. She saw Han once or twice, but the man never entered the room, only stood awkwardly at the door, waiting for something, but the girl did not know for what.

Kylo woke up after twelve hours of motionless sleep. Looking out of the window, he saw, that the sun already set long ago. Looking in the other direction, he noticed Rey sleeping on his bed.

 _She was here the whole time?_ \- he thought. Kylo found this oddly comforting.

\- Hey – the young man tried to wake her up, only to find, that his throat is as dry as the desert on Jakku – Rey?

The woman stirred, and opened her eyes, shooting into a sitting stance immediately, startled by his voice.

\- You are awake – she said with evident relief – Do you need anything?

\- Water... - Kylo looked around still a bit groggy.

Rey simply handed him a glass, which he emptied, before she could even tell him to slow down a bit.

\- Feeling better? - Rey asked.

\- Hm.

They sat in silence after that, only the silent beep of a med droid could be heard, as it tried to organize files and medications in the background. Rey knew, that it would be the best time for her to leave, but somehow she could not bring herself to do so. The episode in the forest was bothering her to no end, but now, as she had the chance, to know more, Rey's tongue was somehow binded.

\- Why are you still here? - Ren's voice held no anger; he seemed generally curious – Playing guard again? Someone wanted to put my pillow on my face?

\- Don't make yourself seem more idiotic, than you already are – Rey looked at him scolding – I just... wanted to know, if everything was okay with you after... You know...

\- After my former teacher labelled me as traitor and tried to cut my brain into small pieces? - Ren said bitterly – Yes, I am physically well. For the mental damage, though... If I want to dance around in my mother's clothes, just shoot me down. I bet your new friend, the pilot would be delighted to do the honor.

Rey wrinkled her eyebrows at him.

\- What happened back there? - she asked, letting go of punching him because of the man's "Solo-genes".

\- He found me – Ren stated simply – And when I told him, that I will not let him control me anymore, he tried to destroy what he built. Easy as a piece of rock.

\- How could you... survive?

Kylo shrugged, turning away from her.

\- Why is that so important? - he asked.

Rey bit her lip, unsure if she should answer the question, or leave the whole thing be. Truth was she got scared back then. Not for Kylo himself, knowing that the man stopped a damn blaster shot midair, but for General Organa. She just got at least somewhat her son back. It would be a cruel twist from the Maker to take him away so soon. In the woods Rey saw Kylo's face twist in pain, and she felt helpless, as there was no physical would to dress or tend.

\- I thought you are going to die – she whispered.

He shrugged again.

\- Don't tell me, that you would have mourned my death...

The girl stood up from her chair, and her eyes shot fire from rage.

\- Maybe, who knows? But you know who would have definitely broken down? Your mother. Your father. And even though, you are what you are, I would have been sad too. So take your cold, big faced attitude, and shove it up your ass, Solo!

As she stormed out of the room Kylo looked at her form, amused by the fact, that she was so furious, that she used his given name.

 _That was harsh..._ \- Padme said.

 _I don't care. I was fucking worried for him, and all he could muster was 'I bet you would not give damn, if I was dead'. Seriously? I dragged his sorry, unconscious ass back to the base, and this is what I get?! Not a 'Thank you', or whatever, just stupid,_ _childish, idiotic, egoistic behavior?_ \- Rey saw red.

 _Nothing I could say will calm you, am I right?_ – the former queen fought not to laugh out loud.

She always saw Rey as a somewhat collected person, even in her anger she was a fearsome opponent, never lost her cool so much, that it kept her from thinking a few steps ahead. Padme had no idea, that her grandson can throw the scavenger girl this much off balance.

 _I should have... strangled him while he was asleep or broke a few bones in him… That would teach him not to be a smartass idiot..._ – Rey fumed.

She stormed to her room, almost knocking over Leia on one of the corridors. She mustered a quiet "I am sorry", and went on her way, not wanting to explain the new reason why the General had a son that was a pain in the hutt.

Leia looked at Rey as she vanished on the corner.

 _This means that Ben is awake_ – she registered.

Based on Han's former behavior, Leia could figure, that Ben had probably slipped an inappropriate oneliner that his father would be very proud of. Leia decided to visit the infirmary to check, if Ben needs anything besides a good knock on his head.

Arriving to the room she found Ben staring out of the window, with an empty water glass in his hand. He seemed a bit out of it.

\- Son? - she asked.

Ben half nodded to acknowledge her presence, but that was it.

\- Do you want to... talk about something? - Leia tried again.

Her son turned to her, with an empty expression.

\- I need to get out of here. So do you and your... cheerleader squad. But I guess you knew that already – he said in a flat tone. Leia nodded – You will have enough on your plate. If I stay with you, Snoke will find your new hide-out in no time, thanks to me, whether I want it or not.

Leia frowned.

\- Was he, who wanted to...

\- Shatter my brain? Yes. But don't worry, he does not know, that you are on the same location as I am.

Ben sighed, and turned back to the forest view through the window.

\- How long was she here?

At first, Leia didn't know who the person is, her son was referring to, but the General figured, Ben was talking about Rey.

\- All the time – she said at the most neutral tune she could muster - She brought you back to the base.

Leia first realized that something is seriously wrong, when she suddenly lost her son's Force signature. Remembering on the techniques Luke taught her back then to search for Ben, but no avail.

 _Please, let him be safe_ \- the General thought as she went to search for Rey on the base. The girl was Force sensitive. Maybe she can help…

For a brief moment Leia considered the horrible thought of Ben reverting to his old ways, getting out from the base, with all the information he collected during his time with them, but the second after she was berating herself. She was the one, who welcomed him, and she is the first one to doubt his intentions what mother would do this?

She reached out in the Force this time, to find Rey, and Leia could feel the girl getting closer to the med bay. As her powers shined like a small golden fire, the General found a bit of peace, right before fear strike her again at the faint, almost diminished glow of gold and grey.

 _Ben..._ \- Leia doubled her speed, running to the direction the two were detectable.

The sight clenched her heart.

Rey tried to hold Ben's entire weight on her, as they neared the base, and Ben seemed completely knocked out cold.

\- General! - Rey shouted between two pants – Get someone quick!

Leia immediately turned on he commlink, requesting two med droids and a stretcher.

\- What happened? - she asked, as she rushed to Rey, helping her to support Ben.

\- I... Wish I could know, I guess Snoke somehow wanted to...

 _Luke, where the hell are you in times like these?_ \- Leia screamed in her head.

The droids arrived, and they lay Ben on the bed they brought with them. One started to run diagnostics, stating, that Ben is in stable condition, aside from the small gashes he got when he was forced to whirl on the ground in pain.

\- He only has minor visible injuries. We need to check, if he got any internal ones, but so far, we detect no sign of that – the droid said – We will tend him as best as we can, General.

Although Leia knew, that they are only machines, she wanted them to say words like 'Don't worry', or 'He will be alright', things that a human would say in this situation, but the droids seemed to end their report. The General nodded. Outwards she seemed calm and collected. Inside she was screaming like crazy.

\- We need to tend Ms. Rey's wounds as well. Are you able to walk on your feet, miss?

Leia looked at Rey, who seemed to be awfully confused by the question.

\- What wounds? - she asked.

The older woman then saw the still faintly bleeding gashes on her upper arm, and the smaller scrapes on the young woman's legs.

\- How did you get these? - Leia asked.

Rey looked at them.

\- Must have been during... uh... I kind of helped him to overcome whatever was that tried to do whatever to him. I didn't even felt or realized these...

Leia asked the droids to escort both Rey and Ben to the infirmary. As she walked with them, she could not help but notice, that Rey's hand was holding Ben's bed.

\- Hm - Ben nodded to his mother's answer.

 _That girl must have stamina... You are not exactly feather light..._ \- he heard Anakin whistle in appreciation – _Although picturing her, taking your sorry ass back here, is kind of comical..._

 _There is not one minute, when you can leave my mocking behind, is it..._ \- Ben bit back.

 _All I am saying is that you can consider yourself lucky, that she was there to help us. Better said, that she_ _ **was there**_ _, she_ _ **could help**_ _, and_ _ **was willing to**_ _._

 _Grandmother was with her. Maybe she was the one who urged her to do so._

There was something wrong with this theory. Back then she did not hesitate to ask what she can do, or how to aid him. She seemed even more frightened than when they first met...

 _Padme was and still is stubborn. But so is Rey. If she did not want to help you, no one could have convinced her to do so_ – Anakin said with upmost certainty in his voice – _It was Rey's decision alone._

 _Riiight.._. - Ben stretched.

 _I find your lack of faith disturbing..._

 _Dark humor?_

 _Not darker than you see the world, boy._

 _Did I just imagine that small tug at his lips?_ \- Leia thought as she waited for her son to continue, if he wanted to.

\- We fought – he said eventually, trying to make it seem like it was not bothering him at all.

\- People do tend to do that from time to time – Leia agreed to play the 'ignore the rathtar in the room' game.

\- I told her, that I bet that she does not even care if I die. And she got mad. Madder that when I – he wanted to tell, that when he was interrogating her, but that did not seem the appropriate phrasing – when we first met.

\- She was worried – Leia stated matter-of-factly – What you do with this piece of information, is your thing.

Kylo wanted to answer something, that could distance himself from Rey, but the truth was he felt something that was achingly similar to gratitude towards her. Their weird bond helped Anakin and him to fight Snoke, and that is something, that he could not just sweep under the rug.

\- I know, that after what happened with you in the past, and now, you do not know, who to trust, or if it has any use trusting at all – he heard his mother's voice – But that small girl **did** save your life. If nothing else, this could be a rough basis of trust, don't you think?

She smiled at her son. Still respecting his wish not to get touched, Leia stood up.

\- Will you start the preparations to leave this planet for good? – he asked, acting like it was still not that big of a deal.

\- Yes. We already found another planet to move to – Leia stopped at the doorframe, contemplating if she should tell her son where they are moving to, but she figured, that it would be safer to keep this information for herself – I shall leave to let you rest for a while. If you feel up to it, you can return to your room. The medics did not find any serious injuries.

Ben only nodded silently. Leia wanted to leave from the entrance, when she heard him silently saying:

\- Thank you, mother.

The General smiled.

\- You are my son. Whatever made you do all the things you have done, for whatever reason, I will always be here for you, if you decide to come home to me. Rest well.

Ben just stared at the doorframe even after she left, with a bit lighter weight on his chest.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note: Sorrryyyy guys! I uploaded chapter 12 again, as one of the reviews said, that the chapter is broken (?). Big Thank you for that! :) Let's hope this will work better. Please leave a review, if you like! Aaaaaand, here it goes!**

 _Just before I start: I took the following time passing as basis:_

 _A New Hope to The Empire Strikes Back: 3 years_

 _The Empire Strikes Back to Return of the Jedi: 1 year_

 _Return of the Jedi to The Force Awakens: 30 years_

12th: Heritages

The coming days were busy with packing.

After Ben left the infirmary, he searched for his mother to know, if he can help her, and only her. He did not see Rey on the base, or at least not there where he was, which meant, that she was purposefully avoided him, so far, with a hundred percent success rate.

He knew exactly that he should apologize to Rey, or at least thank her for helping him, but he would bit his tongue off first.

He was walking back to his room, when he saw, that the pilot from all people stood next to his door, as if he would wait just for Kylo to arrive. Ben intended to pretend Daemeron was not there for a supposed purpose. He nodded in the man's direction, wanting to enter his room.

\- I know very well, that I am not your favourite person around here, but if you want to fight me, that at least do it on a public place... - Ben said dryly – You know... In front of the squaaaad...

\- I am not here to fight – Daemeron said.

\- That is... refreshing. Then how may the devil be of service for you today?

Poe had mild amusement on his face.

\- She was right, you do have a smart mouth...

Ben pulled an eyebrow to that sentence.

 _She talks about you with her friends. You have a better game than I had..._ \- he heard Anakin.

\- Look, I came here with a white flag to show you something, before it is taken apart because of the base-relocation.

\- What?

\- Just get your black pants-clad ass, and come with me...

Ben contemplated for a second, if this is a trap or not, but then he figured, that he could worry about that when the time comes. Even if his Force-abilities were somewhat tied because of his mother's fancy bracelet, he could very well take care of himself in close combat.

They left a bunch of corridors behind them, and got out from the base into a somewhat smaller clearing, where a holo-statue stood in the centre, surrounded with electronic parts, and some flowers growing out of them.

The statue depicted a group of people, five humans and a robot. Ben saw them once in a history book about the Rebellion, but he was too small to be interested in war or history itself.

\- Who are these people? - he asked Daemeron.

\- Thieves. Traitors. Assassins – Poe answered – They were the crew of the ship Rogue One back in the days of the Rebellion. They stole the plans of the First Death Star from the Empire and payed for it with their lives. You see that one, with the beard and goggles? He was once a pilot at the Empire. He fled, and became a Rebel. The woman? Her father was forced to build the Death Star. You see the man in the middle? He was an assassin. He is rumoured to kill one of his allies too. Their crew had a mercenary, and a monk... and that droid there? It was an Imperial droid, that was reprogrammed.

Ben looked at the statue in front of him, than at Daemeron, than back at the statue.

\- Why are you showing me this? - he asked.

\- The pilot shrugged, and turned to Ben.

\- That woman there, she was a thief, running from the Rebellion and the Empire. That man did all the things someone would do in war. Worse than what you did, or rumoured to do. He had a belief, and he went with it. The pilot wanted to get away from the violence... - as Kylo still had a perplexed expression, he sighed and continued - All I am trying to say is, that we may have a past, but I want to be a better person with each decision I make. Do you?

Ben cracked a bitter smile. He got the point which Daemeron wanted to make, still, idealism was a belief he let go a long time ago.

\- Not everyone is soooo fond of me like my mother.

\- No. They are not – Poe nodded – Even Finn said, that our talk will be an impressive waste of time.

 _Then why are you here in the first place?_ \- Ben thought, studying Daemeron's features.

A few weeks ago, they were enemies, this person shot at him. Twice. He forcefully – and deliberately painfully, he might add - pulled information from his brain... He never gave it to the First Order, but that was not the point. What happened, happened, and cannot be undone, they cannot pretend, like they were best buddy-pals...

\- Wow, she was right, you are thinking visibly...

Ben looked at a grinning Poe.

\- Why did you want to talk to me? - he asked.

\- Someone had to continue your integration into the less-of-a-maniac-club – Poe shrugged – And I thought a nice family-story would be the way to go.

Poe took his way back into the building complex, and Ben followed him.

\- What family?

\- You see that handsome young dashing guy there? - Poe pointed to the ships captain. Ben pulled his eyebrows up because of the description, but nodded – Well, you are not the only one, who has a semi-famous uncle...

Ben snorted, not believing, that one small decision back on the Starkiller would get him in this oddly half-nice-half-bitter mess.

Although they did not bury the hatchet completely, Ben was glad, that he could at least establish a civil tone with Daemeron.

 _Well, well, you found a friend, that deserves at least one fame-point_ – Ben could literally see with his inner eye, that Anakin was smiling under his nose.

 _Shut it..._ \- Ben growled back.

 _Hey, kid, I am on your team, remember? Besides, I could only trust one man back then. You do not need an army of people, only a few special ones. I also had one back in my days as myself..._

The first loaded cargo ships departed at sunset. As they transported the most vital information and equipment, Poe and Han were the ones, who followed them close behind, with a swarm of X-wing fighters.

Ben watched as the ships took off. He probed his Force senses to see if he can scan the area for threats, but he found nothing. Besides, the Starkiller was such a loss for the Order, that they were probably still licking their wounds, patching their wallets to set up another fleet and army.

He felt a small tug at the Force. Following it, he pushed himself away from the entrance frame, taking his steps to one of the staircases to the rooftops.

As he wanted exit to the open air, he felt the golden presence of Rey shimmering in the Force.

 _I know what you think, and don't you dare turn around_ – he heard Anakin.

 _And what IF she wants to be... I don't know... Alone? As far away from me as possible?_ \- he asked, hoping that this time his grandfather will let things go.

 _If that is the case, why did she let you find her this time?_ \- Anakin shot back – _This Bond you share now is somewhat similar to what Padme and I had... Major difference of course, that Rey is Force-sensitive, but you know... The heart wants what it wants..._ \- the former jedi knight said in a sing-song mocking tone.

Ben rolled his eyes. He could not imagine a universe, where he and Rey could be more than ten feet far acquaintances. Looking through the small crack at the door, he saw a glimpse of her. She was also watching the ships departing, and the remaining crew rummaging with luggage and personal belongings.

 _Just talk to her_ – he heard Anakin nudge him – _What is the worst that can happen?_

Ben just grimaced a bit, and stepped on the roof, hoping, that she will not push him from it.

Rey was happy she could get away for a bit from the crowd. There was such noise because of the packing, that sometimes even Padme was inaudible. She sneaked into her room one last time, and got into the 'fresher.

As she got out, Rey found, that someone has left a new set of clothing on her bed, long, light gray pants (the material was finer than what Rey ever wore), and a top, that showed a bit more stomach than she was used to. Then again, here was no damaging ray of Sun (or suns for that matter), like back on Jakku. The top had long sleeves, that flowed around her arms.

She looked into the mirror, and she almost laughed. Her whole attire - while here it was probably totally normal for someone, who in fact is not a soldier or a pilot – on the desert hell would be labelled as dangerous for a woman at her age.

 _Don't dwell on it_ – she heard Padme – _You won't have to go back there._

 _But as long as Luke Skywalker is nowhere to be found, I am stuck here. A bit more comfortable, that is true, but from the way I see it, I switched from sand-hell to battle-hell. Stuck with an idiot in a boat..._

Padme laughed wholeheartedly.

 _My grandson is just as bad with his communication skills, as his grandfather. And father. And his uncle. Thinking about it, it kind of runs in the family..._

 _You were a senator..._

 _With a terrible sense of organizing my private life..._

Rey cracked a little smile. She wanted to get away from the noises, and the only place she could do that is her normal roof-sanctuary. Rey and Padme agreed to do this from time to time. If Rey needed a bit of meditation time, she sneaked away to the roof, just to look at the impossible amount of green on the planet.

She seated herself on the roof.

 _How on the Force can I start searching for Luke Skywalker?_ \- she thought.

 _You can always ask Ben..._ \- Padme said tentatively – _Based on what he said, he already found the rest of it among the Imperial maps..._

 _If that would be true, he would not be here, but at Luke's hideout. He saw the map-fragment in my brain._

 _He bluffed?_ \- Padme asked, but Rey just shrugged.

 _As he is so talkative, as a screwdriver, I have no idea._

She sighed. The map, what she saw was only a fragment of Force knows what part of the galaxy, and as R2D2, the droid, who was Luke's droid at the time, was still in a standby sleep mode. Rey could not fix it, or figure out how to wake him. All in all, they had no information.

She looked at the base from the roof. The sunset painted everything in a fiery red and orange light, the breeze from the western forests brought slight earth scent, and in the midst of the chaos she was in, the ex-scavenger girl smiled in contentment a bit.

Back on Jakku, the air was dry, there were days when she could hardly breathe from the hotness in the desert. There was never enough from anything. No water, no food... not even the slightest chance to get properly cleaned up... Rey wrinkled her nose as she remembered the amount of sand and dust, that came out of her hair. The freshener looked like a swamp, before the cleaning droids appeared.

Rey took a strand of hair in her hands, and started to fiddle with it with amusement. It reached almost the middle of her back. When did her hair grow that long?!

 _I get the feeling that it is hard for you to keep your thoughts on point_ – she could hear Padme's voice.

I do not know, if you have been with me for that long, but for your information, royal highness, I never had this much luxury in my entire life – Rey sighed.

 _Now, first. I am not a "real" queen, well I was, but that is a long story for another time. Second, but not less important, I was with you through your entire life. I was the little sound, or the basic survival instinct, if you want to phrase it that way..._

 _Why couldn't I speak to you back then?_ – Rey asked.

She felt so alone some times. With Padme it may could have been bit better. Less painful, less lonely...

 _I have tried to contact you_ – Padme said a bit sadder – _You did not hear me. Or not answer me. The barrier broke when Ben tried to enter your mind, but I do not know, why I couldn't talk to you before that. Maybe it was not the right time? Or maybe we needed Ben's Force energy to activate yours?_

Rey could not be more sceptic in the matter, but she did not say a word. Her thoughts were back at the core problem. No one could explain what happened to the four of them. Maybe Master Skywalker can, but given the fact that he is nowhere to be found, this option is crossed out from the list.

The former scavenger girl felt goosebumps arise on the back of her head, as there would be someone, who is watching her. She turned around to see Kylo Ren appear at the roof's gate. They did not talk since the medbay incident, and Rey tried to avoid him as best as possible.

 _Why is he here?_ \- she asked herself.

 _Maybe to say thank you?_ \- Padme answered.

 _Yes, surely. He will thank me right after Finn asks if Poe has someone in his life..._

For a brief moment, neither Ben nor Rey said anything, in fact, she froze under his gaze as an animal when it spots a predator. Then her basic instincts kicked in, as she started to get up from her place to get away from him as soon as possible, erasing his intense look from her mind.

\- Don't mind me – he said – I know it is hard to believe, but I am not always a lethal maniac.

Rey was confused. What is happening?! They speak to each other now?!

\- I have made an attempt on a joke, this is the part where the participants in the conversation start to laugh politely – Ren said with such an expression on his face, as he would talk to a mental person.

\- Sorry? – Rey managed to muster.

Ben looked at her with amusement in his eyes. Of course, he did not expect a sudden outburst of mirth or laugh from this girl, given how they parted last time, but for Force's sake, he is trying really hard here to strike a normal conversation between them...

She just... stood there, with her brown hair flowing around her face, as if she would really be an angel, her eyes looking at him with curiosity, but not hate, and Ben wondered, how it would feel, if he could k...

 _Keep your fantasies for yourself..._ – he warned Anakin.

 _Yes, blame it on me. Thank you_ – Anakin bit back with a snickering tone.

Ben sat down on the roof, and gazed off to the forest to calm his nerves and Anakin's fantasies. He felt his grandfather shift a bit, retreating to the back of his mind, as if he would wanted to sign, that he has absolutely nothing to do with how weirdly comfortable he felt the first time since the medbay. Rey crossed her arms awkwardly, not knowing if she should be leaving, or staying.

\- Would it pain you to sit down? – Ben asked.

\- That depends – Rey answered, looking at the young man suspiciously.

\- On what?

\- Are you going to be a mental maniac, once I do as you ask?

Now it was Ben's time to look like as someone has hit him with a rock on his head.

\- I have made an attempt on a joke, this is the part where the participants in the conversation start to laugh politely – repeated Rey his words.

 _Should I be mad now?_ \- Ben thought, as he studied her features, while she was sitting down next to him, somewhat awkwardly. She did not look at him, but at least they could sit next to each other without bickering, that is a plus...

\- Daemeron wanted to talk to me today – he suddenly said.

\- Hm. He is like that – Rey nodded – Finn said, that it was a bad idea, but as far as I could saw, you left him in one piece.

\- I tend to do that sometimes, and everyone is surprised about that... wonder why...

Rey arched an eyebrow, and looked at him with a blank expression.

 _Come on, I am really trying here..._ \- Ben gritted his teeth.

The woman still eyed him, but her gaze shifted. Rey scanned him intensely, as if she wanted to dig into his soul to the very end.

\- What are you trying to accomplish? - she asked, eyeing him with honest curiosity – Why are you still here? Snoke wanted to end you, did he not? Why? What were you thinking? What are you thinking now?

Ben wanted to answer something snarky. He wanted to tell her off, and piss her off, so that he does not need to see her jedi-understanding nature.

\- Before you get any ideas, I do NOT want to have some bold redemption arc, with sunshine and bunnies and whatever – Ben grimaced at the cheesy picture – I am NOT some do-good jedi. But turns out someone – he knocked his head slightly – Thinks that I am not a sith either. Not now, not ever. Snoke wants to kill me for not being what he wanted. My mother is disappointed, because I am not the hero she wanted me to be. My father is... well himself. I don't think that he feels anything...

Rey furrowed her brows.

\- That is not true – she said with solid certainty, but Ben only snorted at that.

\- Please, cut that out. I know, that you want him to be your father, but trust me, he would have disappointed you.

\- He stood by the door to the medbay – Rey said, not having any idea, why she tried to defend Han this much.

Ben could not care less. He was used to this by now. His father, standing at the doorway, not moving, or eventually leaving, without him or his mother, not saying a word.

\- I really was worried for you too, you know – she said, standing up – Even if you were what you were, I try to see what you are now.

The young man smiled bitterly.

\- That is really jedi from you.

Rey turned back to him, with an expression he could not place.

\- That is human of me. Of both of us – looking at the loading area in front of them she added – You should start preparing. The General trusted you to watch one of the transports.

Ben almost fell off the roof.

\- You were saying? - he asked with mimicked calmness.

Somehow he felt, that Rey could see through his façade, as she shrugged.

\- Why are you so surprised? - she looked amused – You are the General's son, after all.

Then she left him, with the welcomed weight of his mother's new trust on his shoulders. New trust that she did not mention to him with one word as they parted, and Leia boarded her ship.


	14. Chapter 14

_**13th: Trust**_

A few hours prior to Leia's departure, she invited Rey to her room, stating, that it was important, but the messenger girl did not know, why the General wanted to talk to the former scavenger, leaving Rey in a short state of elemental panic.

It took all of Padme's convincing power to get her to the General's office, and even so, her knees were awfully shaking, as she entered the well it room.

The older woman turned to her, and smiled friendly.

\- You must be wondering, why you are here – she said.

Rey had a knot in her stomach, so all she could do was nod.

\- No need to panic, child – Leia said, sensing the nervous vibes - I want to talk to you about my son.

 _Now, I would rather be literally_ _ **anywhere else**_ _than discussing_ _ **that**_ _topic_ – Rey thought

\- What about him? - Rey asked.

\- I want to trust him with one of the transports.

Rey was in the middle of sitting down, but at these words she stopped mid motion, and looked at Leia as if she would have three heads.

\- Sorry, you were saying? - the young woman blinked in confusion.

Leia only smiled, while waved her to take a seat, this time preferably ending the activity she began.

\- After the Snoke-incident, I decided to give him a chance.

The older woman could see the array of emotions, that ran across Rey's face, from confusion to suspicion, from that to confusion again.

\- I do not want to be disrespectful... - she started tentatively.

\- But?

Rey bit her lip, struggling with forming the words.

\- Aren't you a bit...

\- Biased?

The girl simply nodded.

\- Maybe. And you?

 _Score_. - Rey thought.

Leia circled her desk, and stood before Rey. Her brows were furrowed, and her age was now more visible.

\- I am aware, that I want him back more, than I should – she said – But he is my son. If I do not trust him, who will?

Rey bit her lip. Part of her – most likely that part was Padme's realm – understood Leia's reasoning, the other half of her – that was strapped to Kylo Ren's interrogation chair – found this idea way to foolish.

\- On the other hand, I do know, that he cannot, and will not be allowed to go anywhere alone. I want you, Poe and Finn to be also on the same ship where he will be.

This was the part, where Rey started to search for her jaw somewhere in the basement.

 _You got to be kriffing me, woman!_ \- she thought, but Rey only allowed a small laughter of disbelief for herself.

\- Uhm... General...

\- Poe already agreed to do so – Leia interrupted.

 _Why do I even..._ \- the former scavenger girl murmured to herself.

\- And Finn?

\- He will be tougher to crack, but I have the feeling, that Poe will convince him.

 _Aaaaand she thought of everything_ \- Padme thought chuckling – _That's my girl._

 _You do realize that we will be on the same ship with a former supervillain?_ \- Rey hissed.

 _He has Anakin with him_.

 _You really do have blind faith in Anakin..._ \- Rey was amused.

 _If I don't have, who will?_

Rey had the firm belief, that these two women have a special ability to challenge luck on any occasion they can grab...

\- Forget it – Finn said without letting Poe finish.

\- The General asked us to do so – Daemeron probed again – She...

\- She is an idiot for thinking, that Kylo Ren from all people will settle down in a spaceship without stealing it. Come on, think, how do we know, that he will not take us back to the First Order? I deserted their rows, Rey has something that Snoke needs, and you have all base coordinates, and everything, the Resistance has. Tell me, if I'm mistaken, but translate this into Dark Side lingo, and it means "jackpot".

\- I talked to the guy, he seems... at least remorseful.

Finn leaned back in the freighter's co-pilot seat, looking at Poe with as much skepticism as he could muster. He did not like the idea _at all_. He saw, what Kylo Ren did, how easy Kylo Ren killed innocents, with a whoosh of red. These kind of creatures – he refused to call the black clad man human – do not wake just up one morning with regret, and the General is a fool to think so. How is it, that noone can see this just he, Finn?

\- We won't be alone, _chica_ will watch our asses, besides, he has that metal stuff around his wrist. He cannot do his whiz with that on him. Plus, he does not even know, where we move to... - Poe did not gave up.

The dark skinned young man looked at his... friend (Do their relationship cover the term "friend"? Whatever... ) with disbelief.

\- Why are you letting your guard down this easily?

Poe shrugged.

\- I trust the General with my life. If she says it will be alright, I believe her.

\- You are an idiot, and you will get us killed. But if so, I swear, I will hunt your ghost for all eternity, and the only thing I will say is "I toooold youuuuu".

Poe chuckled, as he began the landing on D'Qar. As he typed the identifier code to send, he wondered, if General Organa in fact DID know, what she was doing. If not, then he might just pull a "FinnGhost" move on her.

Rey packed the last of her things – to be brutally honest, she had tops two backpacks, full with attire lent by the General – and Luke Skywalker's lightsaber, took her staff and exited her temporary room, taking a deep breath.

\- You really going to start this journey like some sort of sparring session? - she heard.

Kylo or Ben or however he calls himself now, was leaning against the doorframe, as if he was waiting for her. Rey gripped her staff, and automatically charged at the source of a possible attack in her first instinct, but Ben caught the end of it with ease before the metal could clash with his face.

\- What the _kriff_ , Solo, you want to get your head smashed?! - Rey uttered, after she loosened her fighting stance.

\- That surely has a high chance – Ben said with a stoic expression – The General sent me to you. It is time for take off. Well it was five minutes ago, but I wanted to give some time for the two idiots to gear up. As if they could run if I wanted to hurt them...

\- Those two idiots are my friends, you know – Rey said turning way from him to get to the docks. Ben followed her.

\- Well aware – he murred.

Later, as they sat in the freighter, Rey glanced around. Poe was weirdly calm, almost humming to himself, as they took off. Finn seamed to shut the whole world out, scanning the galaxy-map so intently, as he would want to get their destination to hop into the neighborhood. It did not happen...

Ben was not seated around them in the pit.

After they got into the freighter, he sat down next to the boxes, away from the windows, getting comfortable next to two crates. As Rey looked at him questioningly, he cracked a dry smile.

\- Don't worry, I will not start to push the cargo into space. But FN... _Finn_ is already at the edge, and quite frankly, petite jedi, I am not interested in his scowling face.

Rey looked at Finn's back, who had no intentions on turning around.

\- Do what you want – the former trooper bit back.

The woman rubbed her face, preparing for a very long journey to wherever. It occurred to her just now, that she didn't even ask anyone where they are heading.

\- Be prepared, _chica_ because you will see the last peaceful region of the Resistance – Poe winked, as he started the engines.

\- Why, where are we going? - Rey asked.

\- You are going to see the green fields of Naboo, love.

Rey felt Padme's mood shifting from excited to sad to excited again, until the senator rested with bittersweet anticipation.

 _I am going home_ \- she said – _How come, that Leia choose this planet?_

 _Maybe the General wanted to know more about you?_ \- Rey answered – _After all, you are her mother... If I had the opportunity to find out more about my parents, I would immediately want to use it_.

 _Hm_... - after this, Padme fell silent, and retracted to whatever part of Rey's mind.

The woman wondered, if Ben knows, where they are heading. She looked at him, still sitting in the back, contemplating if she should say anything, but decided not to approach him. The ship was not that big, and he was within earshot.

Ben just sat there, with a growing knot in his stomach. He could feel Anakin restlessly shifting, like he would be the bubbling Force energy inside him. The black-haired man fought the urge to just get up and pace from wall to wall.

Although he knew, that Naboo was his grandmother's birth planet, he never once was there, or read about it more. As far as he knew, his mother wasn't there either, at least until he was with her. Maybe she visited after that. For what?

Ben always saw his mother as a strong, independent, uncrushable being. She would argue with his father, he would storm out, and off to wherever, but his mother never once shed any tears for Han leaving. She just patted Ben on his head, smiled at him, and asked, what he wanted to eat or play, depending the time. The thought, that his mother needed someone to lean on seemed almost absurd to him.

And even if she was seeking strength, what could give it to her there?

 _Padme has her grave there..._

Anakin's quiet response made him almost fell off his designated crate.

 _Sorry?_ \- he asked.

 _Padme was buried on Naboo. They loved her so much, she even got her own crypt, she was not laid next to the former queens_.

 _How do you know this?_

Anakin sighed, and Ben could picture him sitting down, and looking at least twenty years older than he was when he turned away from the Light.

 _I visited her grave twice. Once when I found out, that I was the one who killed her, and once when I found out about... Luke and your mother. That was the first time I could visit her without self-loathing and shame._

Ben felt his stomach crunch again. These were feelings he knew much too well for his taste.

 _Why did you choose her?_ \- he asked eventually.

 _Have you ever seen an angel?_ \- Anakin answered with a question.

 _I do not believe in them._

 _Well, she just simply was one. She stepped into the room of my owner, and..._

 _OWNER?!_ \- Ben thought he heard something wrong. Anakin chuckled without any mirth.

 _Oh, so no one told you? Before I got the chance to be a Jedi, I was nothing but a slave on my own planet. Funny, how they leave this out of the tale of the Graaand Master of the Dark Siiiiide... That his life was worthless until a Jedi landed on his planet by sheer luck._

The dark-haired man looked at Rey. She was also trapped on a faraway planet until she was discovered by accident. Her talent, her powers would have gone to waste... Just like Anakin's.

 _True, but to be honest, she is a better sight than I was_ \- Ben could practically see his grandfather wink.

Ben stared ahead, watching the small streaks of stars and planets as they flew in space.

His grandfather wanted more from his life than to be a mere slave, so he forged his own path, just like Rey decided not to stay on that hell of a planet she was on.

What was he going to do? All his life he wanted to be just like Anakin, no matter what. But in the meantime, he completely gave up his own identity, deciding that "Ben Solo" itself was the reason, why he could not turn fully to the Dark Side, the weakness, that should be put out like a candle light.

He already accepted the fact, that he will never be good enough to be such a pure and calm Jedi as his Uncle. On the other hand, though, he could not be as ruthless as his grandfather. Each time, he fulfilled an order he was given to by Snoke, he felt his gut twisting. The sight of death clenched his insides every time he used his blade. No wonder, that even the synthetic crystal in it was unstable.

 _If I am not fit to be on the Light Side, nor the Dark... Where_ _ **do I**_ _belong?_ \- he asked himself.

 _That, boy, is the million Credit question_ \- Anakin answered – _And as soon as you have the answer, everything will be much more clear too._

\- Guys, I present to you: the planet Naboo! - Daemeron's words pulled him out of his thoughts. He got up, and walked to the others, standing next to Rey.

The planet looked like a green-blue marble. He felt joy radiating from the former scavenger girl next to him.

\- Look at all the water – she sighed, still not completely adapting to the fact, that there is more to life than that sand-hell she lived on.

\- Just wait until we land – Poe winked at her.

Indeed, as they touched the ground, and the door opened, even Ben could smell the flowers, brought in by the light breeze. Rey brushed past him, and Ben could see the willpower she mustered not to run out into the open.

The landing port was next to a huge palace-like object, and General Organa was already standing there waiting for them. Poe and Finn raised their hands to salute, but she signed with her hand, that it is not needed. As she looked at Rey and Ben, Ben felt the relief his mother felt to see him again. That indicated another wave of guilt in him.

\- I am glad to see you arrived without any issues. Your rooms are prepared. Don't mind the cargo, it will be taken care of.

Ben looked around, noticing several X-Wings and the Millennium Falcon itself. So, his father decided to stay with the Resistance for whatever reason. Interesting...

Rey got out of her room, hearing the soft swish behind herself, as the door closed automatically. She allowed Padme to lead her through the palace.

The great halls were quiet and empty. Destruction of the Hosnian System meant a beheaded Naboo, as both the reigning queen and the sent senators have died on the planets. Mourning and desperate servants roamed around, but the arrival of General Organa seemed to bring at least some form of comfort to them.

Rey got out to the great corridors, leaning against the carved stone railing of the great round arcade.

 _They are so alone_ \- Padme said, while they were watching the people – _And afraid... I am afraid for them too..._

 _We will get out of this mess_ – Rey assured her with more confidence than she felt – _Somehow... First step is to find Luke Skywalker, then the rest. Too bad, I have no idea how to use the map piece._

The quiet between them allowed her thoughts to wander back to the picture she saw when she first saw the planet from the spaceship, stepping out of the hyperspace. She knew exactly, that time almost suffocated them with its passing, but it was really hard to resist the urge to take a cruiser and take at least a little look around the planet.

 _Maybe later_ \- she thought, walking away from the arcade.

She tried to find the library, hoping to find at least an older map of the galaxy, determined to get the exact location of the fragment she saw. Rey knew, that this will be a hard task, but she tried to see it as a different type of scavenger hunt. The best price always comes after hard work.

 _Could you please show me, where to find the archives?_ \- she asked Padme.

 _Sure, but I don't predict any success. The Empire raided it clean to purge any unneeded knowledge, and I doubt my son would hide in a place known on today's maps..._ \- the queen answered.

 _Maybe we can get at least an idea, where to start. I do not know the galaxy, but you do._

 _I honestly admire your optimism_ – Rey pictured Padme sitting on her throne, with an amused expression on her face.

 _It's either that, or complete cluelessness_. - Rey answered, heading to the archives, still marveling about the scenery.

 _Fair point._

 **Author's note:** _Yes, I know, I am a bad person for not updating so long, but my muse went on a long vacation, leaving me behind. This chapter alone took three weeks ?ￂﾠ_

 _I could not find any clues regarding the exact distance between D'Qar and Naboo, but based on a graphic in Star Wars Super Graphic: A Visual Guide to the Star Wars Universe, they are pretty close as Naboo is almost on the border of the Mid Rim and D'Quar is closer to the border of the Mid Rim, but already in the Wild Space. If I made any mistakes or chose the wrong reference, please correct me, as I am curious myself :)_


End file.
